out-of focus
March 08, 2006, 6:02 P.M.

Man, I had the unfortunate experience of being jolted straight out of solid, REM sleep this morning, and I've felt weird and jangly and fuzzy ever since. I was having a very vividly colored dream, I remember. I can't put my finger on what it was about, though. But there was lots of light and glass and mid-century modern architecture and bright, tropical colors. Whatever it was, it was pretty.

I need to snap out of the fuzzies, though. I spent the day feeling like I was walking under water. It made work a little bizarre. Not the best sort of day to have to wear both my student and my teacher hats, unfortunately, but I did the best I could.

On January 24th, I wrote the following in my diary entry:

"I got approval on my money-saving project, though, and I spent a good deal of time today on getting that moving. The final amount of savings will should come in around $12,000.00. And beaucoup points for me with senior staff, which is goodwill in the bank.

In these scary days, one does what one can to present oneself as an asset to the company. My main thrust at the moment is to be considered as a dependable, solid, pro-company, on-the-ball, works-well-on-her-own-and-doesn't-bitch-much type of employee. That's what the boss likes and looks for, so that is what I must be. Oh, and keeping it brief is also highly treasured.

As much as I'd prefer to be a software diva and flip the bird to the corporate side of things, I can't do that if I want to succeed at this firm. (And by succeed, I mean keep my job!) The corporate culture here simply isn't wired that way. If you want respect around these parts, you need to do your job well, AND be attentive to the wishes of the management hierarchy."

Well, that attitude served me very well in this last purge. I still have A job. (If not my job.) However�

Fresh challenges, folks.

I found out at--2:30 pm today--that I have to spend five hours teaching and training people in software testing.

Tomorrow.

Fuuuu-cking Hell. I guess I�m just supposed to shit a lesson plan.

Towards that goal, I actually put together a "To Do" list for this evening. And having yet to execute most of it, I need to make this entry quick.

• fold the towels that have been in the dryer since Sunday


• wash a load of my work clothes


• wash another load of towels


• double check details Db project email


• make a nice dinner for Spouse to have later, including fresh cookies


• clean up kitchen


• go to online and order movie! (squee!)


• get everything ready for work tomorrow

Even though I first saw it badly chopped up and heavily censored on network TV, I could see and understand enough to know that I loooved that gangly Canuck. Woof.*

I'm sure it will end up being cheesy and dated and kind of silly. But I. Don't. Care. I WAANNNNTTT IT!

See, that's the thing about being a Generation Jones kid. We have no problem waiting decades to get our hands on a movie, because we are still secretly amazed and thrilled that we actually get to own a a movie at all.

*And almost thirty years later, I'd still jump his magnificent wreckage if I ever got the chance. Sure--I'm 42 and he's 66, but that first blast of hormones can stay with you for life.

On the way over to McCarran from rental car row last week, I was seated next to a fellow beader, who was wearing a really fabulous-looking bracelet. I complimented and copped to being a beader, so she explained the weave, and mentioned that it was much easier than it looked.

Upshot--Since that is kind of my thing--projects that look more complicated and difficult than they really are--I am attempting to re-create the pattern. This is mostly experimentation, a learning process, and some practice, so I can't really call it a project. It will be interesting to see if I end up with an actual piece at the end of it.

It wasn't too big of a struggle, despite my wonkiness. I was reading my book at the time.