full disclosure
December 16, 2011

what Christmas means to me:
Religious divisivness, greed and self-centeredness, anxiety, exhaustion, debt, depression, family squabbles, and actual, physical, pain.

I hate the whole horrible mess, and I am sick of trying to convince myself that I don't. Sick of trying to go along with what others seem to expect from me. Sick of respecting the feelings of others regarding their holiday, and not getting any respect of my own feelings in return.

I hate it. And this is NOT NEGOTIABLE. It isn't "seasonal depression", or a temporary "bad mood", or a mindset that I need to be "jollied out of". It is my true feeling for the whole miserable end-of-year crapfest.