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forcing myself
November 07, 2011
Another one of those posts where I'm forcing myself to do this, because it is good for me. And wondering, again, why "good for me" has NEVER been an adequate reason for me to want to do something. Healthy eating, quitting smoking, exercising, any kind of therapy...just never gave shit number one about "good for me".
Don't mind me; it is yet another chapter in The Red Fairy Book. And now that my middle-aged body has decided to mix attacks of violent hyper-acidity to the wonderland that is my menstrual cycle, I find the whole mess more miserable than ever. The persisent, Nexium-defying acid production is not only awful because of the reflux, but also produces a lingering nausea, and negatively impacts the downstream digestive processes as well--if you know what I mean. Unpleasant, uncomfortable, and absolutely exhausting.
Not to mention the Autumnal clockfuckery that drives me around the bend, and is absolute hell on the dog. Truly, yet another reason why it would make so much more sense for me to live in the clockfuckery-free zone, a/k/a Phoenix.
Other grumps: Spouse's mouth has once again written checks that my ass has to cash--he promised my auntie that I would bake her a homemade Christmas fruitcake. This, after I specifically stated that it was going to be a ZERO OBSERVANCE year for me, Christmas-wise. He promised her that I would bake her something that I have never before baked in my 48 years...that is the most horrible and involved thing to pull off EVER...that takes an entire month to prepare....ARGHH!
He also made it clear that he expects us to send her a custom mix Christmas CD again this year. Yeah, he doesn't make those, either.
How is it we manage to stay married, again? (Oh yeah--I'm a fucking saint!)
Actually, I put together a dynamite Merry Mix CD, designed and printed a stylish and attractive cover and track listing, and assembled it all in a brand new CD jewel case in about two hours on Saturday--so that's done, at least. I'm hell on wheels when it comes to that stuff.
Had a dentist appointment on Friday--usually twice-a-year checkup, but with the added, every 60 months panoramic and every 24 months full set standard X-rays. SO it was more of a bother than usual. The good news: Absolutely no gingivitis. In fact, my dentist and hygienist declared me the poster child for the positive effects of quitting smoking on gum disease. The bad news: all the Double Bubble and Jawbreakers and Atomic Fireballs and Saf-T-Pops I snarfed to help me quit smoking? Left me with two (small) cavities, which I have to go get filled at the end of the month.
Whatever. It seems to be my month for health care. That makes it two dentist visits, a chiro, a flu shot, a thyroid check, and a physical From November 4th thru November 30th.
Weekend summary:
Friday afternoon was bank, Fashion Bug for another sweater, dentist, and shopping at Wally's and Sam's. Spouse squeezed in a chat with Auntie regarding her particular taste in fruitcakes (light, no cloves, lots of pineapple, pecans for nuts, and brandy, not rum.) In the evening after dinner, we ran to Sturtevant to the Farm and Fleet and the Pick-n-Save looking for fruitcake ingredients.
Saturday was groceries at the Mexi-Mart in Waukegan and the Gordon Foods, then came home & put everything away. Spouse had a wild hair to try a new BBQ sauce recipe, so while he brewed up a gallon of sauce, I whipped together the Christmas CD. I followed that by making meatloaf, mashed potatoes and corn for dinner. ( Despite having intestinal problems from the hyper-acidity.)
Sunday: Got up, made Spouse's morning with a beautiful Sunday breakfast of fresh-squeezed OJ, coffee, bacon, scrambled eggs, hash browns, and toast. Cleaned up mess. Contemplated a full day of slogging up and down the stairs doing the laundry, and gave up--took it all to The Lint Trap instead, and we got it done in a couple of hours. Bought a new antenna for the Retro-Rocket, which Spouse installed. Once he realized that it was completely rotted away and had to be retapped, he decided my poor reception wasn't just my imagination after all! He also checked the tires and all my fluids so I'd be ready for the week. Then he came in and began a long, involved process of BBQ ribs, which were delicious and I really enjoyed--even though I was again suffering from the hyper-acidity intestinal problems. Sunday's were even worse, and despite tums, zantac and pepto on top of my daily pill, I was sick well into the night.
Other stuff--
1. almost had to re-send part of Uncle's last letter. He received it and would not put it down to eat lunch--got ketchup all over the last page, then blamed his daughter for it, until she pointed out that his paw was covered in the stuff, and he was, in fact, "caught red-handed". But they were able to clean it off and recover it, so no harm done. You would think that these were some kind of sacred texts, the way Uncle treats them! They are actually just chatty ramblings that I rattle off to him every few weeks, but according to my auntie, he treasures them.
She did say one thing about it that I found very gratifying--he told her he loves how he can read one of my letters and it's "just like she's sitting here talking to me". That's what I'm shooting for, so I was pretty pleased!
I do work at these; I have put a lot of thought into how they should be presented. My goal is for these to be conversational, and to be VERY easy to read. A way to communicate with my nearly blind and totally deaf uncle that allows me to "talk" to him directly, with no filters or translators. Easily tracked serif font, huge font size, short paragraphs with full breaks between, easy end-of-page breaks, embedded photos, numbered pages, and that chatty, easy tone that conveys my thoughts and opinions and activities in an informal way.
It just feels so good when you find out that something you put that kind of effort into is doing exactly what you intended.
2. B's diet seems to be going great guns; he is losing weight at a reasonable rate, he appears to be a lot more satisfied, and his energy levels are up tremendously. He really loves it, so we will probably keep the veggies up permanently.
3. Work hate: Can't really go into detail, but there has been a shift of project focus for the umpteenth time, we are losing more key people, and I still burn with the flame of hatred for my current position.
Reading:Hobby--"Susan Clegg and Her Friend Mrs. Lathrop" (1904),by Anne Warner. Not crazy about it; the dialect is hard to wade through. Funny, though.
Finished both books I was reading last week--I liked "Old Harbor" (1909), by William John Hopkins, even though the ending was abrupt and contrived and oddly incomplete. But I ended up absolutely HATING "The Beloved Woman" (1920), by Kathleen Norris. The title character was certainly not beloved of ME. She was greedy and petty and snobbish. She hated on and envied people who showed her nothing but kindness generosity, and no matter what she got, it wasn't enough. She was always wanting more more more. And while that sort of heroine CAN work in a novel, provided she depends chiefly on herself to get "more more more"...this character merely thinks that the world owes her. And not owes her "a living". Owes her sumptuous wealth! And she gets far more in life than she really deserves. As I said: HATED. After the disappointment of Norris's "Martie, Unconquered", followed by hating this one so much, I think I just give up on this particular author. For now, anyway.
Listening: Pearl Jam, Foster the People, Everlast, Joni Mitchell (Happy Birthday), Cage the Elephant.
Surfing: Fruitcake recipes. Going with this one
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