and then? I got my period!
April 06, 2011

One of those "death of a thousand paper-cuts" kind of days yesterday. Wake up at four and go in the bathroom, trip over the dog's booby-trap (he likes to wrestle with the throw rug at night) and land in Spouse's booby-trap (he leaves the seat up at night).

Go back to bed to wait for the alarm to go off at four-thirty. Wake up thinking it's gotta be four-thirty by now, look at the clock and realize it's four-FIFTY and the alarm crapped out on me!

Rush through morning chores, shower, and while dressing, realize I don't smell coffee. Timer didn't go off on the coffeemaker! hit start button, finish dressing.

Due to running late, don't get into morning traffic till after 5:30, which means heavier traffic to dodge and an extra long commute. During most of which, I'm trying desperately not to crap my pants, due to sudden onset of violent cramping. Oh, and because of this, end up not being able to drink my coffee anyway.

I reach my parking space and head to my usual building entrance. WHICH IS CLOSED, due to concrete repair work. Walk the additional 150 feet to the next entrance, and 150 feet back to where I need to be INSIDE the building, barely making it to the bathroom. Crap my brains out.

Get to my desk, promptly acquire a virus on my desktop, and have to deal with that. Find out that my schedule for next week is going to be a solid gold nightmare, due to visiting vendors. Will not be able to call lunch my own, work my regular hours, etc. Spend my usual hellish day trying to comprehend the incomprehensible.

Endure the perfect storm of obnoxiousness that is the BASTARD on the other side of my cube wall. His fine workplace habits (which I can't do anything about because he's not an employee, he's a consultant)--
NOISES/VIBRATIONS CATEGORY
Loud, incessant chatter (in that soul-killing Lancashire accent, yet!). Finger tapping. Singing. Humming (can't carry a tune, either). Slamming objects around. Banging his chair into his desk so hard that MY entire cube threatens to collapse. Slurping everything he eats and drinks (and he eats and drinks a LOT--even while he's chattering). Sniffs ALL the TIME. Doesn't mute his computer, so that it honks and beeps all day. Doesn't mute his cell phone, even though he ignores is as it rings all day long.
STINKS CATEGORY
Eating nasty-smelling foods. Sitting in his car with the windows up, chainsmoking, so that he is MARINATED in the stench. CONSIDERS BATHING OPTIONAL. Thinks COLOGNE is acceptable SUBSTITUTE for BATHING.

Fight with my partial denture all day, and eventually take it out on the way home and stick it in the side pocket of my purse.

Stop at the senior center and cast my vote, which I have very little hope of seeing effect change. Go home.

Just as I settle with a movie and a snack, realize that I need my denture, and go to get it out of my purse. DISCOVER IT IS MISSING. PANIC.

Retrace my steps and search yard, sidewalk, driveway, and car. DON"T FIND IT. Realize that I must have lost it when I went to vote. Put B in crate, lock up, drive back to Senior Center. Search parking lot, and sidewalk, finding the lost denture by the entrance, lying in some dirt. Pick it up, flooded with relief that it is found and not run over and broken.

Realize it's got a great big chip out of it, leaving a razor sharp edge. Sigh. Go home--again.

The rest of the evening was blessedly uneventful. Made dinner for the second night in a row, surprising the heck out of Spouse, since I usually don't cook on his class nights.

We had BBQ pork chops, twice-baked potatoes, and steamed mixed vegetables, (Monday night was breaded shrimp, fries, and salad) and I think he was pleased. I rinsed and wiped in the kitchen, and left the washing for him. Fiddled around on the computer for a while, until the damned connection started dropping again. That is becoming an almost nightly issue around here. I blame Time-Warner. Then I took the dog out, got into bed, plugged into my hypnosis recording, and zoned out for the night.