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scalped
August 12, 2009
Never get your haircut at the tail-end of your hair stylist�s first day back from vacation.
I wanted a light trim, and she basically sheared me. Not too happy, especially as she seems to have cut off most of the color I so carefully applied on Saturday. Back to grey temples after just a few days. Sucks to be old.
AND I woke up this morning with a huge zit coming up on my jawline. Dammit! I�m going to be 46 years old in less than two months. Exactly how old do I have to BE before I stop getting a zit right before every frigging social event on my calendar? Isn�t it bad enough that I have a big, ugly red mark on my cheek from where I scratched the hell out of myself in my sleep last week?
After a couple of weeks of quietishness at the job, things are amping up again. In the last couple of days, I�ve had one large project, one huge project, and�count them�TWENTY �small� projects dumped on me for research & analysis. Several of them will also require me to code. All will need extensive documentation. Sigh. They say American worker productivity is surging upward. Of bloody course it is! If your business is down by a third, cut your workforce in half and make the remaining staff suck it up and cover the gap, right? They should just be glad they have a job and shut the fuck up. (Then add in all the additional crap you have to absorb because they fired the competent people and kept the dullards & dead wood�ah, don�t get me started.)
The other day, a co-worker asked me �Did you ever have one of those days where you just wished you were dead?�
I had one of those startling realizations�there are a lot of people in the world who don�t have that thought every single day of their lives�
This is what chronic depression is like for me. Not only do I have thoughts like that all the time, my perceptions get so skewed that I start to think the whole world thinks that way, too. My brain is striving to process its own abnormality as the norm.
By the way�can you imagine how much fun it is to have those thoughts every day, and also live with the fact that your great-uncle, your grandmother, and your little brother all killed themselves because of the same damned disease?
On to more cheerful subjects. Got my nails done, and boy, am I a cheapskate�I not only got them done at the local beauty school, I actually had a coupon. But I got a complete spa treatment and twenty sparkling, mauvy-purple nails for less than half of what they charge at my old nail place. And I�m not bleeding to death or anything, so we�re good.
Reading: "False Scent", by Ngaio Marsh.
Surfing: Eyes too tired.
Listening: NPR
At Random: click here
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