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every journal needs a little existential angst
June 12, 2008
Thoughts on checking my watch at 9:58 am this morning:
Am I waiting for my life to be over, or am I waiting for it to start?
Waiting for it to be over, I think. Well, at least the part where I have to bathe Spouse. (If there is one thing I am certain of in this world, it�s that I am NOT cut out to be a nurse.)
And the part where I have to work for the world�s worst bureaucrat, who wants to have meetings to talk about what we�re going to talk about in our next meeting. (This woman is not only missing the point, she�s missing the fucking pencil.)
Honestly, as much as I am in the mood to do an entry today�I am coming up blank. I just have my hands way too full of convalescent husband and ridiculously over-complicated job to even have time to breathe, let alone to concentrate on thinking some private thoughts and putting them on (virtual) paper. I get around four and a half hours between when I get home from work and when I have to go to bed. That is all the time I get in the day that isn�t about getting ready for work, working, or driving to and from work. Here�s what I have to get done today, that has to come out of that four and a half hours:
- Go to the drugstore to get stuff the invalid needs. 30 minutes
- Help Spouse shampoo, bathe, and dress. 45 minutes.
- Change the dressing on Spouse�s knee 5-10 minutes
- Make a proper dinner: pasta with meat sauce, tossed salad, and garlic bread. 1 hour, 10 minutes
- Wash the dishes and clean up the kitchen. 45 minutes
- Do a load of laundry, so I have clean clothes for Friday. 25 minutes.
- Exercise the dog. 30 minutes.
Heavens! Whatever am I going to do with a whole 15 minutes to myself?
Just for contrast�If you took Spouse out of that equation, it would eliminate all but 55 minutes--the dog and the laundry.
Reading: "Not in the Flesh", the newest Inspector Wexford novel by Ruth Rendell. I think she�s brilliant, and l love all her books, no matter how unsettling. But Reg Wexford is my true love.
Beading: I have some assorted Chinese and Swarovski crystals, odds, ends, and cheap lots. I�m thinking of stringing them into a simple, sparkly, and colorful bracelet, with some silver rounds as spacers.
Surfing: 1975: And the Changes To Come. The mid-seventies, viewed from 1960 or so.
Listening: Tom Lehrer, Foxboro Hot Tubs, Supertramp, �Wicked�. (I love the shuffle option!)
At Random: click here
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