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jumpy
December 12, 2007
Not in a bad mood, but feeling I�m feeling very ADD today�I�m jumpy and can�t concentrate, and every draft, noise, smell, or variation in light makes me feel edgy. I get this way sometimes--well, it's worse than usual, sometimes, anyway. I'm pretty much always like this to some extent. Today's bad, though.
Since the weather finally dried out, and there's even been a bit of sunshine today, I'm having better mood I've had in a while. Amazing how quickly that can just perk me right up. So even though I'm having a crazy-sensitive day, it is just more distracting than it is irritating.
And even though my bipolar maternal grandmother hanged herself 35 years ago today. That mood swing is weird, though, because sometimes it hits me on the day, and sometimes it hits me later, closer to Christmas. Losing that grandma was nothing like losing my dad's mom. I was just a 9-year-old at the time, and there was family estrangement before that. Plus, I didn't know it was suicide until 2 decades later, so that didn't freak me back in '72. And my favorite aunt, uncle and cousin came back East for the funeral, so my sorrow was back-burner to my thrill at seeing them.
Speaking of distraction--what? I was, until I got distracted--
I can't afford to be distracted, anyway--since I work for a really shitty company, that only spends money on IT when they have some left over from everything else, December is always a fucking mess there. End of the year, check the various budgets, scrape together the scraps, and go into a rushed frenzy to spend it before the budgets reset in January. Joy to the friggin' world. And have another deadline in your Christmas stocking.
Enough about work. Cards are trickling in, in both the personal and exchange categories, but I was surprised that I haven't gotten more by now. They'll probably all show up on the same day, and my mailman will quit. I've gotten some really neat ones, though.
Reading: �Rosemary's Baby�, by the late, great Ira Levin.
Listening: I'm not only NOT listening to any music--I actually have earplugs in to block all noise. I'm feeling very noise-sensitive.
At Random: click here
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