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hollow
December 13, 2007
Well, it hit me today.
I've felt weepy about both my grannies all day. I can't get either of them off my mind. The WITWN word today was quilt, and that really got me going...
God, I'm so tired of the mood swings.
On Sunday, after making Spouse a full, homemade breakfast, I followed up with a nice dinner. When I was cleaning up, Spouse made nice and thanked me in a way that made me chuckle. He told me it was the first homemade meal he'd had since--um--this morning.
He was trying to make a point about how I never cook for him anymore. He probably should have picked a different day.
I did get the hint, though. So this week I actually cooked dinner a couple of times and made him up a sort of homemade TV dinner to heat up when he got home. I hope he appreciates. i even made him jello! (I hate it, he loves it.)
I wish I could get my shit together, Christmas-wise. I can't seem to get my wrapping done--or even started, for that matter. And I need to figure out what I'll be wearing when we go to my family gathering, but I can't seem to collect my thoughts enough to do it. At least I'll be spared the embarassment of being seen in my swimsuit--I have a staph infection again, so I'm planning on begging off of the swimming. No need polluting a public pool.
I don't know--I'm trying so hard, but it just won't come. I'm not happy, I do not like Christmas, and trying so hard to be something I'm not isn't just a failure--it's fucking exhausting.
Reading: �Rosemary's Baby�, by the late, great Ira Levin.
Listening: Youtube--assorted bits, adhering to no central theme. A little Al Jolson, a little Mark Olson, a little Ken Berry, a little Debbie Harry, a little Paul, a little Raul (Les and Julia)...well, I guess there was a central theme.
At Random: click here
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