these things amuse us
November 30, 2007

One of the most enjoyable things about listening to so much Christmas music is the places my mind goes. I was listening to �The Santa Claus Express� on the way home yesterday, and when I heard the lyric:

Ev�ry chimney top is a station stop for The Santa Claus Express ,
I suddenly found myself yelling at the cd player: �Well then it�s really more of a local, isn�t it?! It�s not an �express� at all!�

That�s what happens when you look for logic in songs about Santa Claus.

Also, you tend to re-write the lyrics, just a little�

Both:
It happened in Sun Valley

Not so very long ago�

1st witness:
There was blood upon the snow
And a ski pole in her eye!

2nd witness:
First you stalked her, then you knocked her,
On her ass right in plain sight,

Both:
On that dark day in Sun Valley,
When you smashed her skull and broke her thigh!

1st witness:
I remember very clearly what you did

2nd witness:
�and so do I!

1st witness:
How it went down in Sun Valley,

Both:
When you killed the girl who�d passed you by!