hunger without appetite
April 12, 2006, 7:03 P.M.
My stomach is growling, I feel hollow inside, and I know I'm hungry.
But there isn't anything I can think of to eat that seems the least bit appetizing. I wandered helplessly around two different grocery stores last night, trying to figure out what to have for dinner. And I couldn't come up with anything.
Part of the problem is my extreme fatigue, and a disinclination to cook. Or clean up. Or even order take-out. I don't want to eat out because I don't want to be in public, fast food and conveniences foods are disgusting, low-quality stuff, the effort involved in cooking is beyond me, and I'm sick to death of cheese sandwiches. So where does that leave me?
Eating ice cream, Cheezits, and instant mashed potatoes, that's where. Cause it's easy. Pathetic, but true.
Apparently, Spouse decided he hadn't quite done enough to ruin my weekend. So in addition to being forced to observe a holiday I find meaningless, and in addition to having to slog around cemeteries and then go eat a heavy Polish dinner with that hateful old bat his mother, I also have to play host, overnight, to Nephew. Who is a great kid and I adore him, but now I have to try and get ready on Sunday with a 15-year-old floating around my tiny house.Not to mention trying to get him and his size seventeen feet in gear and ready, and to get his helpless uncle ready to boot.
And this also means, of course, that I'm going to be stuck in the back seat with that old witch for a good chunk of the day.
I try my best to be generous with Spouse, and put up with his mom on a regular basis for him, but he is abusing my goodwill and affection for him.
Caught up with some people today; A programmer pal who has been out on medical leave came in for a visit, and it was nice to chat with her for a while. SHe told me some horror stories about the post-op care she received, but she saw her doc today and she's doing great now.And Miss Sensitive stopped by and whined on my shoulder about how her new position is SS, DD. Uh...yeah. Because the problem is you, ya crybaby.
Well, I thought that, anyway. But since I didn't want her to bawl all over my desk, I tried to be polite and noncommittal about her "plight".
And I had a meeting with my new boss, who is an annoying blend of micro-manager and thoughtless delagator. It looks like I'm going to be expected to keep precise accounts of time spent and time to be spent, on hourly, daily, weekly, and monthly levels. She needs this so she can keep track of employees that she dumps headfirst into the shit and then walks away from.
I have used the term "soul-killing" about this job, have I not?
JR called me last night, wanting to chat with his old sis-in-law about the customer he'd just had at the dealership. A high-profile racing driver (Indy 500 champ), race team owner, and owner of his own car dealerships. Quite a celebrity in the car biz. JR took a photo on his camera phone, and got the guy's autograph for Spouse. He was seriously geeked up about it--I think he called me just because he needed to crow a bit.(I don't feel comfortable putting the guy's name here, so as a mental note for myself--it's the guy who won Indy the year JR graduated.)
Reading: "Photo Finish", by Ngaio Marsh. Aannnd another!
Listening: XM, "Comedy 150". Brian Regan, Dane Cook, George Carlin.
Beading: Repair job on one of my survivor bracelets, and adapting a phone charm holder to accommodate interchangeable charms--this is all "warranty work" for a customer.
One Year Ago, I was in the middle.
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