the things I do to get a day off
Monday, Jun. 06, 2005, 4:42 PM

After posting on Saturday, I kicked myself into high gear, and accomplished the following: laundry, dishes, floors swept, vacuumed, rugs washed, DUSTED, scrubbed, scoured, organized, and tidied.

Unfortunately, just about the time I went outside to sweep up all the mess, we had one hell of an afternoon thunderstorm. So I contented myself with all I�d achieved, and let it go. Raji needed some good comforting, so I concentrated on that.

When Spouse got home, the storm was long gone and the day was lovely again. Since we were both famished, he offered me a choice of local pizza delivered, or one we would have to go get...�great-place-we-both-love-but-never-go-to-because-it's-in-another-state�. Since it was to be my last meal, I didn�t want to settle for a lackluster pie, so I said GPWBLBNGTBIIAS. I called up and placed the order, and by the time we drove down there, it was ready to pick up.

Great pizza, and totally worth the trip. After we scarfed, I sat and fussed with my beads awhile, and Spouse took advantage of the nice evening and mowed the yard. We sat outside for awhile, I walked the dog, and off to bed.

I had mentioned to Spouse that there was a Meijer in McHenry, if he wanted one that was a little closer (by 12 miles),and away from Chicago traffic.

So we got up and took a ride out that way to do our shopping. It was nice to get the advantage of a Meijer that only requires a nice Sunday drive in the country. I really wish we had one a little closer still, though.

I haven�t been out to McHenry in ages, and I was amazed at all the shopping opportunities they have now. It has really grown up out there.

Anyway, we were there, shopped, and home before noon, so I put everything away, and Spouse lay down for a nap, since he hadn�t slept well. After the groceries were put away, I sat down and started beading, because I knew that I wouldn�t be doing anything but dealing with the bathroom after my purge started at four. A matter of �carpe bead-em�.

Plus, I was starting to feel starved, and needed something to take my mind off food. �Sabrina� was on TCM, so that helped too.

I finally decided where I wanted to go with the peach piece, and started a woven bracelet. Got about halfway through, actually, before I had to begin flushing the old system.

BTW; They have come up with some really great products that fit well with the diet restrictions I had.

All the Popsicles you want, as long as they aren�t red ? That was a problem before they came out with �Great White� Popsicles, but now you can have your cherry and your colonoscopy too!
They are orange, cherry, and �mystery flavor� (tasted like lemon-lime, or possibly fruit punch, to me) But they contain no dyes. The theory behind this is �less mess, no staining�, but I think they were custom made for me.

I�d also like to thank Ocean Spray for their White Cranberry, because this enabled me to get some juice I really liked down my gullet.

I�m not used to all the sugary shit though, and even though I needed to get this stuff down for the calories, it just made me feel horrid. I�m too old to consider a day of stuffing myself with soda and popsicles and lemon drops as a real treat. In reality, it�s closer to torture.

Especially when you also have to make sure you drink an entire quart of Gatorade. Bleghh!

Speaking of torture.

At four o�clock, I began the decent into hell, with the Phospho-Soda/ginger ale cocktails. The first session was 4:00, 4:20, and 4:40. Nothing happened for so long that I was starting to worry, but about 6:00, the games began. About the time I was felling calmer, it was time for the next session, at 8:00, 8:20, and 8:40.
This session was went quite a lot worse, and although things slowed a bit after 11:00, I was actually still offloading that stuff at 6 am this morning.

Ohhh, am I feeling dopey.

The procedure went well, and my colon got a clean bill of health. I will be starting on Zelnorm this week, though. Supposedly this will level things out and get me regular. I also got a script for some laxative called
Miralax, for when the Zelnorm doesn't work. (That's encouraging.)

I even got the fastest service I�ve ever witnessed in a hospital. I was supposed to be at the admitting desk at eight, for a ten o�clock surgery. Spouse dropped me off and I got to admitting at 7:45. By eight, I was already undressed, gowned, and in my hospital bed. By 8:50, they were wheeling me in for the procedure. And by ten, I was out of surgery, out of recovery, and back in my room talking to my Doctor. I was supposed to be released at one, but was out by 11:30.

Apparently, they had a no-show for the slot before mine, so Dr. Mario was just trucking right along. They even thanked me for being a little early, so they could keep their pace going.

Anyway, he still hasn�t addressed the issue of what I do have, which is some nasty piles. I was a little too wonky from the Demerol to really discuss it with him today, but I have a follow-up in six weeks, and plan to call him out on the �roids issue for once and for all.

Ah, yes...Demerol. The last thing I remember is telling the nurse that the Demerol was stinging in my IV. She said �it�ll get better�, and I laughed and said since it was Demerol, it would definitely get better.

Next thing I remember is the recovery room. I don�t even remember the second drug going in.. Now that�s some good shit

Spouse picked me up and I came home, ate a bowl of cereal and drank some water, and passed out on the couch for an hour and a half. Woke up with a real splitting headache. Kissed Spouse out the door, and got some more cereal, some toast, and (even though I wasn�t supposed to) COFFEE. Glorious, life-restoring coffee. That got rid of the headache.

But I still feel as though I may conk back out at any time. I got those droopy-sleepy, post-anesthesia blues, I guess.