sucked dry
Tuesday, Nov. 09, 2004,
When I got home from work last night, I made a very basic dinner, but one that seemed to suit both Spouse and I very well. I made country-style mashed potatoes (used the great baby reds from TJ�s), steamed some petite peas, and threw some pork chops on the George. I served it up along with the leftover cornbread, and it just hit the spot. The best part? Ready in 30. Take that, Rachael Ray!
It took longer to clean up the kitchen, though. I swear, by the time I empty the drainer, do the dishes, wipe everything up, take out the trash, make him a lunch, set up the coffeemaker, and change the dog�s water, I feel like I�m NEVER going to get out of that kitchen.
I haven�t touched my beads in weeks, and I really don�t know if I will get to anytime soon. And part of me is feeling very angry and cheated and denied by that. But part of me, when confronted by a window of opportunity, feels overwhelmed by the prospect of sitting down to bead. The heavy load I�m currently saddled with isn�t just cheating me out of the time to bead; it is sucking me so dry that I�m devoid of creativity. I�m feeling used up. I haven�t even got the resources left to regenerate myself. And that is scary. I know myself, and I know I have to put something back or I�ll crash and burn. But they haven�t left me with anything. And still they come back again and again for more pieces of me.
I�m feeling miserable; bloated, crampy, and tired. And I can�t stop stuffing my face with salty things and chocolate. Ugh. Why do we crave the toxic crap? I�m way ready to call it a day, and I still have to do the kind of stuff outlined in the first two paragraphs.