bad feel bad real real bad
Wednesday, Nov. 10, 2004,
When I got home from work yesterday, my gas meter was tagged out. Seems there was an emergency leak repair done yesterday morning, and since no one was home to let them light the pilot on the water heater, they did a lock out tag out and we had to call for a tech. Spouse called about four. It was nearly eight when he got there. No heat, no hot water till then, and it was nearly nine before things heated back up.
So�yesterday, I complained about having to do the dishes, and last night I didn�t have to. It sure would be nice if I got some advance notice when a wish is to be granted. I�d be a lot more careful.
I HAVE A FEELING MY AIM SUDDENLY GOT REALLY BAD.
Target really only gets a significant amount of my cash at one particular time of year�the holidays. (Oops�make that �got�. ) I simply don�t shop there very often, and I don�t delude myself into thinking I�m making some �Grand Gesture�. BUT� I will make the choice to shop at stores that support the bell-ringer program. Not because I believe in the theology of the Salvation Army, but because I believe in the practical good they do in my community. And I do not have any hateful indictments to make about Target; they have a policy they feel they must follow, and so do I. No harm, no foul.
But I won�t be �hitting the Target�.
I would feel a lot better about the resignation of AG Asscroft Ashcroft if I didn�t believe that he�s being groomed for a Supreme Court Justice slot. But on the other hand, I�d feel OK having Rudy G take the job, if they offer it to him. He�s a lot more M-O-R.
The gas issue didn�t keep me from getting dinner on the table last night. Tagliatelle with roasted garlic marinara, Italian sausage, garlic bread, and tossed salad. It was pretty good, actually, but the TJ�s tagliatelle stuck to the bottom of the pot. Mental note�cook it in the non-stick pot from now on.I threw a roast &veg in the Crockpot for tonight; I hope it comes out ok. I�m not crazy about CP pot roast, but
Spouse has to eat it every so often in order to be reminded that it isn�t that good. He�s incapable of remembering that sort of thing, and must be periodically re-convinced. I wouldn�t much mind, if it wasn�t such a waste of expensive meat.
He was all ready to buy a bunch of Rice-A-Roni at the store the other day (on sale very cheap), and I had to remind him that we don�t do that anymore, because A.) HUGE amounts of sodium, and B.) The product quality has totally deteriorated.
THESE WERE HIS DECISIONS. But he forgets, and defaults back to his original (circa 1968) �I like Rice-A-Roni� setting. and if I let it go, and he buys it, I will have to listen, yet again, to "Mr. Short-term Memory Loss"
get all indignant about A.) the HUGE amounts of sodium in Rice-A-Roni, and B.) How the product quality of Rice-A-Roni has totally deteriorated.
Speaking of food�I have been so very bad lately. I really must take myself in hand once more and take control of my addiction. It is just so hard to care about myself and for myself the way I should.
Vicious cycle.
Stressful times are when I need my good nutrition and adequate hydration and exercise. But when I�m stressed, all of that is the last thing I want to deal with. I want to sit and stare at the idiot box with chocolate and coffee and salty snacks and other assorted poisons, until I pass out in my chair (like last night)Stress likes stress. Stress doesn�t WANT to be cured. It�s like cancer. It wants to win.
The pain is really bad right now, and I hate how it colors my mood and my opinions and my writing. Not to mention getting overcome by a big tidal wave of agony right in the middle of a business conversation.
I almost passed out while having a project discussion today. I don't think she noticed though. It was with Ms. Overly Sensitive, but she is really only sensitive to what concerns her. I could have a stroke but she wouldn't notice unless I landed on her. And then, her feelings would be more hurt than her actual physical self.
Meanwhile, I am in fucking agony. Angry, nasty, evil pain that makes me impatient and viper-tongued and gives me a low (okay, even lower than usual) opinion of humanity.
Reading: �Vital Lies", by Ellen Hart
Listening: "M.U." and "Thick as a Brick", ~ Jethro Tull, plus XM, �Sixties on Six� and "Comedy 150"
Beading: Not.