ding-dong, trick or treat
Sunday, Oct. 31, 2004, 1:43 PM

Halloween candy. When I was a kid, what grade of Halloween candy an adult gave out was instrumental in determining how cool that adult was. I'm proud to say that my folks didn't give out the crappy, grade Z candy like Bit-O-Honey or Mary Janes. None of that "homemade popcorn ball in a paper sack" bullshit at our house. We were solidly in with the Mars family of fine, fun-sized favorites. Middle class respectability in the early seventies dictated M&Ms, Milky Ways, Snickers, or 3 Musketeers, every year.

Spouse and I carry on that tradition. And go it one better, because hey--free candy rocks.

Sure, you'll get jawbreakers, lollipops, Smarties, and SweeTarts. But that would be in addition to the candy bars. Yep, a fun-size bar (this year's mix is Hershey Bars, 3 Musketeers, and KitKats), PLUS a handful of the old "Kiddie Mix" second-string candy.

And if you are a toddler, you get fruit snacks and Saf-T-Pops. The fruit snacks go over big with mommies, I've noticed. This year I went with the Spongebob theme, but Bob The Builder, Toy Story, and Winnie The Pooh have all made their appearance in the candy bowl over the past few years.

And, of course, MilkBones for the handful of four-legged trick-or-treaters I get every year.

So, yeah. What was I thinking?! Skip the T-O-T? I must have been insane. Especially this year, when K-Town is doing the unthinkable, and actually holding it on Halloween, from three to six. Will wonders never cease!

It starts in 45 minutes, and I'm ready to go. Candy in the bowls, a paperback and a crossword puzzle, and a warm jacket and gloves to chase the chill.