the pope of chillitown
Wednesday, Oct. 27, 2004, 8:17 PM
I�m looking forward to tomorrow, when my team leader comes back.
But I�m dreading it, too.
Because a lot of stuff of the sort I�ve been doing this week won�t go back to getting done by her, it will just go back to not getting done at all. Does that make sense?
The plusses of this three-day adventure:
Freedom to ask the questions and get the answers my team needs, without having to negotiate the �brick wall� that she has become.
I have fans! The other two members of the team, who are quite new, are totally psyched by all the stuff I�ve taught them, all the ground I�ve gained on their behalf, and all the info I�ve shared. My (real) boss seems to be impressed with my performance. Even some of the managers and developers seem to have favorable reactions to my ways and means. So that rocks.
The minuses? Well:
I haven�t really had a minute to myself. INTJ here, remember. The psychic vampires have sucked me dry, and I come home a dried husk.
While I�m actually there, though, it feels good. Mainly because I�m getting stuff done, and that ALways feels good.
I haven�t really had a minute to my job, either. All of this running around is fine and dandy, but it doesn�t perform analysis, or write documents. The sad thing is, without all the information I�ve been running around for, I wouldn�t have gotten anything done, anyway.
I have been having a hard week, food-wise. I do okay in the daytime, but by the time I get home from work, I�m overcome with a ravenous appetite. I�m ready to gnaw on my own arm. Plus I�ve been starved for dairy, and carbs. I had potatoes for dinner last night. JUST potoatoes. Cheesy potatoes, yet. And tonight, I made a hot dish-type dinner, with ground beef and cheese and macaroni. And yes, I have been eating ice cream. But I know better than to try and stop myself. If I try to substitute something low-fat, and low-cal, well--I just end up eating that, and probably several other things, and finally eating too much of what I crave anyway.
If I cut to the chase, at least I�m not gorging like that.
My brother-in-law, P, set in motion the �official seasonal downward spiral� today. He called to invite us to Thanksgiving. Since just the thought of holidays makes me feel rotten and guilty and anxious and miserable, I was hoping to avoid it for a while longer, but now it begins.
This hideous zit-coldsore-boil-whatthefuckever on the edge of my lower lip is making me crazy. It started on Saturday, by Monday and Tuesday it was awful. It felt like it was the size of my fist, and hurt bad enough to make me cry. But it seems to be getting better now, thank god. It will still take a couple of weeks at least till it goes away completely, though. And it�s an ugly little spud. Stress, I suppose. Wouldn�t be surprised. I�m at the age where I thought I�d be exempt from these nasty buggers, but I have more zits in a year now than I did in all four years of high school put together.
The mail is still clogged with political crap on a daily basis, but I�m checking each piece very carefully to make sure it has had postage paid, because I meant what I told those assholes the other day. So far, no repeats, but I�m going to keep an eye on them. Speaking of politics--I had a couple of my homemade bumper stickers on the Rocket. I don�t know if they peeled off because of the constant dank weather we�ve had for the past couple of days, or if they had a little help, but they were peeled almost all the way off this morning, and I had to finish the job and chuck them.
Those removable stickers are nice, in that they don�t mar your bumper, but they come off a little too easy, maybe.
Well, I�m ready to call it a night. I hope I have time and energy to post tomorrow, but I think that what with the zoo that work will be, and Spouse coming home tomorrow afternoon, and my 6:00pm dental appointment, I may just have to skip it. We�ll see.
Reading: Re-reading back issues of �Ellery Queen�s Mystery Magazine"
Listening: not much of anything.
Beading:Not really into it at the moment.