lack of progress, zeal
2004-06-05, 9:43 a.m.

I've got the lazies so bad. I don't want to work. Not at the office, not at home. My house is a disaster and here I sit puttering on the computer, trying not to think about all that needs doing. We didn't go to the club last night after all, because I didn't feel well enough to drink, and Spouse was afraid that he was rather too much in the mood, and would have too many. He's working today, and didn't want to do it with a hangover. We just ran down to SRO and picked up some Chicago dogs for dinner. After supper, we went over to the DQ so he could satisfy his craving for dairy.

I did a bit of beading last night; after several false starts on new projects from the book I bought, I decided I wanted something peaceful and non-challenging. So I started another DNA spiral; a copy of the purple rope I gave Mom. This one's for me, dammit. I'll get a lot of relaxation out of it without having to think too hard, and end up with a very pretty piece that looks more impressively difficult than it is.

Here's a list of stuff I am not doing right now, although I should be:

1. 7 loads of laundry (4 clothes, 2 towels, 1 sheets)

2. Cleaning the bathroom

3. The kitchen--dishes, counters, stove, floors, trash out

4. Picking up the unholy clutter that pervades living/dining rooms

5. Repotting the miniature roses and tidying the front porch

6. Cleaning my bedroom and changing the bedding

7. Running errands to drugstore, discount store, grocery store, etc.

8. Vacuuming and dusting

I really don't know why I feel so bloody "off". This used to be the time of year and type of day where you couldn't keep me down...I'd be bursting with zeal. Is it my age? My weight? The fact that I'm totally burned out and overwhelmed? I can only hope that I'll rejuvenate over vacation. My goal is to get back in touch with my domestic side and be the happy homemaker for a few days. A change, they say, is as good as a rest. Maybe I'll make Daddy some strawberry jam, if I can get a good deal on the berries. He was angling for some homemade goodies the last time I talked to him, and Father's day is coming up...

Yes. That's what he's getting for Father's Day. Strawberry, and maybe some blackberry too. Wow, would you look at that! I just made a decision! Yeah, as a matter of fact, IT IS a big deal. What a sorry as mess I am...

I just heard former president Ronald Reagan died today. I disliked him as an actor, I loathed him as a president, and I really don't much care that he's dead. I cannot be sad for him; he got everything he wanted out of life, at great cost to countless others, Alzheimer's relieved him of the burden of conscience, and he died in his opulent home at the ripe old age of 93. Boo-fuckin' hoo.