irritability
2004-04-30, 2:49 p.m.

Irritability seems to be my key word today. I come in early for work, ready to get busy and do some last-minute testing of changes that never should have been left this late, (implementation is Sunday, for Christ's sake!) only to find that they're doing a friggin' recompile, and the system is down! Not to waste time--I'll just go work on the web-based stuff I never got the chance to test.

Web server down!

I really don't know how much longer I can continue trying to do an effective job of work in this uncommunicative, chaotic environment. Everybody does their own thing like it has no impact on anyone else. Do these idiots even understand the concept of an integrated system?! Or the term "sense of urgency"?

Not to mention the pain. I really don't like to chronicle my everyday woes here, because the truth is that this would just become an endlesslitany of "I'm tired--I'm in pain--I'm depressed." But I do need to mention it once in a while. Well--I hurt today. It is cool and rainy and that is a horrid thing, because my aches are unbearable when it is like this. And here, it is like this a lot. I don't belong in this climate.

On an "up" note, I just got the loveliest present. A friend's (DS) husband just returned from a business trip to the far east, and brought me back a gorgeous silk scarf, navy, with a white print of Korean ideograms. I wonder what it says! I had helped him select a logo and design a business card for his company, and this was a thank you. What a nice guy.

Speaking of husbands and business trips, I may be a grass widow for much of May. Spouse is going to New York (state not city) for a few days next week, and may be going to Idaho for three weeks. As much as I like the alone time, three weeks is a bit excessive. Lawns need mowing, bills need paying, and I do miss him when he's gone... a little.

I finally started to read Atwood's "Oryx and Crake" last night. I haven't gotten far enough to form an opinion, but you don't read Atwood for comfort. Everything of hers that I've read has had an unsettling effect. So far, it seems to hold true for this book as well.

I saw W. last night; she was out walking Niks. We had a nice chat. Niks is recovering nicely from her surgery; and will get her stitches out soon. She looks a bit comical; a Husky with a partially shaved tail is kinda funny lookin', but she is bouncing around and looking good. The mass was benign, too, which was good news indeed. Just a very large, hard, sebaceous cyst.

I'm really enjoying the Ian Anderson CD that W. loaned me last week--"Rupi's Dance". It isn't necessarily deep or profound, but Ian is such an old favorite, I'd pretty much love anything he did. And he certainly hasn't lost his lip. How I love flute music--especially his. "Lost in Crowds" and "Griminelli's Lament" are emerging as faves. I hate to give it back. Looks like I'll be buying it for myself. She also promised to loan me Warren's latest (and last), but I really don't know if I'm ready. I've been holding off, because I know what kind of effect it will have. It'll wreck me. I felt trashed for two days after the VH1 special.

_________________

Well it is later, and after a furious 45 minutes of flying blind, seat-of-pants testing, I just signed off on my last piece of this project (with reservations) and it is out of my hands now. Whew. Come Monday, it'll all fall apart, of course, but the verbal barbwire I've been surrounding myself with for the last few days should keep most of the blame off of me. I've made all the correct arguments and qualifying statements I need to--I hope.