still around
March 18, 2019, 6:37 A.M.

I have been so busy and depressed and anxious and stressed to the max lately, there has been no way I could even think about this journal, other than to try and deal with the pangs of guilt and dismay as I fell farther and farther behind. I mean--I just got around to actually posting an entry that has been in my drafts folder for over a month!

Here's the thing: one of my teammates was let go a month ago. And in addition to the emotional impact from that, there is the additional workload that has landed on the few of us who are left. And, of course, the increasingly undeniable fact that the place is swirling the fucking drain.

Very stressful. Also--stress seems to beget stress. Just this weekend, I had to deal with no less than six of those horribly unsettling episodes with the heart palpitations...and their new partner in crime, outright angina. But I've learned my lesson; I'm not wasting any more money trying to get it remedied. And frankly...fuck it. Maybe I'll win the depression & anxiety lottery, and drop dead from a sudden, massive grabber.