when the levee breaks
April 16,, 2009

The damn disease took advantage of my exhaustion yesterday to move forward on the downward spiral. While I've been aware for a while that I'm experiencing the old "flatness of affect", that's something I can live with and still function more or less normally.

But several restless nights, culminating in the dog waking me at 2:10 AM yesterday and me being unable to get back to sleep...that kind of thing can easily lead to the next phase.

Especially when that's the day the boss decides to ride my ass about my lack of concentration and take out her own frustrations on me.

So the tears, they came. Oh boy, did they come. They came at work, while talking to my boss. They came at work, while talking to Spouse on the phone. They came at home, after talking to Spouse on the phone (Yeah, he�s a depressed mess, too). They came at bedtime, while I was trying desperately to get some rest.

And today, my face looks swollen and red, with huge black circles under my eyes. I look as though I was beaten. Hmph. I guess I am.