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sociability and social inability
January 04, 2008
I stopped by W&Ts a couple of nights ago, but nobody was home. I left a message on the answering machine that they never listened to. So I figured the odds of catching them last night would be crappy. Imagine my surprise when I bumped into them at the gas station. We chatted and then proceeded to their house to have a visit.
I gifted them with the �Seacret� nail care�which they actually liked, since they already use the product! But the real hit was the stupid piece of paper I whipped up on the printer. I put together and invitation with a suitably gothic font and an image of an old Sweeney Todd theatre poster, inviting them out to lunch and to "Attend the Tale of Sweeney Todd".
They flipped. We�re going Sunday.
This kind of present seems to be preferred by them over physical stuff. We are all such hermits, we have found that the best way to celebrate birthdays and other holidays is to go out and eat and do things together. It perks us up, and makes us feel as though we actually have a life.
I don't, however, have a present--apparently the gift-giving thing was one-sided this year. I don't judge, and I don't care. I'm merely recording the fact. Their company on Sunday is as much gift as I need or want.
But it makes me worry about them, since these are not blow-me-off friends. I think they are both depressed this holiday, and I know money matters weigh heavily on them as well. I get concerned.
I did remember to pick up my DVDs while I was there. I get to watch "Hot Fuzz" again! (And I get to watch "High Anxiety", which I loaned them before I even got to watch it myself.)
And I remembered to clue them in to QI--my favorite show, and right up their alley, as well. I hope they get as hooked as I am! I know I find it therapeutic to watch when I'm down, so at the very least, it may perk up their spirits.
I finally got a call back from the Quit Line, and finished registering for the quit for life program. After I was on hold for ten minutes Wednesday, I gave up and began the registration online, and it only took them till Friday night to call me back. And I still haven't actually talked to a counselor, because the guy told me it was a 5-15 minute wait. And I just don't want to burn minutes like that.
To be honest, I am kind of dreading the counselor part anyway. I read through the literature on the website, and my heart just sank, because it's all the usual stuff they tell you to do, and if any of that ever worked for me, I'd be a non-fucking-smoker already!
And so much of their advice just isn't viable for me. "Change your route to work if you are used to smoking at certain points during your commute" is probably pretty great advice if you DON'T work in Lake County Illinois, but if you do, it's a joke. There's only about three roads through the county to start with, and with all the construction bullshit, there really is only one way--unless I choose to get up at three-thirty, and not get home till 6. Uh...NO.
Here's another one--read a book or do a crossword instead of smoking. Sounds good, but look! On another page, it warns against engaging in the behaviors associated with your smoking. And for me, "smoketime" has always been "booktime" as well. That five little minutes of me time where I get to go out, sit down, and read while getting my nic fix. In fact, that's really my biggest fear of quitting. Losing that last little shred of me time I get to claim out of a day devoted to what other people want from me.
And then there is the whole counseling aspect, which is just repugnant to me in any context. I cannot explain whay, but I have an absolute antipathy for involving other people in my life at that level. I don't handle support groups, "the buddy system", counseling, or anything like that at all well. Not in person, and not on the phone. I have to be on very intimate terms with someone before I can talk like that. Strangers, faceless or otherwise, are not confidants.
Writing, on the other hand, I can do. For some reason, I have no problem at all writing all this in my diary that is out there for anyone to read. Hey! Maybe if we can set-up counseling via email, I can handle this. Can't hurt to ask. If I ever get to talk to someone, that is.
I have to get the Retro Rocket worked on tomorrow. Apparently PTs have a high rate of wheel hub failure, and mine is no exception. Thank goodness I have good mechanic connections; Spouse and a co-worker are doing the repair tomorrow. I hate that friggin' car--the front wheels have been nothing but trouble for a while now. Replaced the brakes, replaced the tires, I'm hoping this is what does the trick finally and stops the thrumming and howling from up there. I drive 305 miles a week just for work alone, and I'm kind of a paranoid driver anyway. I frankly don't need the kind of stress it's been putting me through.
Reading: "Victorian Short Stories of Successful Marriages". Companion piece to my previous reading, and also found at Project Gutenberg.
Includes: �The Manchester Marriage�, by Elizabeth Gaskell, �A Mere Interlude�, by Thomas Hardy, �A Faithful Heart�, by George Moore, �The Solid Gold Reef Company, Limited�, by Walter Besant, and �The Tree Of Knowledge�, by Henry James.
Listening: Antsy McClain and the Trailer Park Troubadours. Hee. �I Was Just Flipped Off By A Silver Haired Old Lady, With A �Honk If You Love Jesus� Sticker On The Bumper Of Her Car�� is brilliant.
At Random: clickhere
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