recalcitrant
October 17, 2006
I really don�t want to be doing this. I�m trying to impose some discipline on myself, though�so I have placed certain obligations upon my own shoulders. Posting is one of them.
As for why I don�t want to be doing it�well, I�m just feeling tired and time-pressed and depressed and repressed and bleah.
So what does one post about, when one doesn�t want to post at all?
Well, I could mention that even though I was off work for nearly the entire week, I accomplished zip. I didn�t even spend much time on the computer. Some days, I just stayed in my bathrobe all day. Having said that, I will point out that although I didn�t go to my parents, I did spend 4 and a half hours on the phone with my mom on Thursday.
And I did manage to get W�s birthday gift�diagonal wire cutters, nylon-jawed pliers, and a bead counting/sorting device. It�s basically the same device pharmacists use to count pills, marketed as a bead thingy.
And I went to the doctor on Friday. Confession time�I had to tell him I abandoned the meds. He was a bit peeved about that, but I told him quite honestly that I was heartily sick and tired of feeling like a fat sack of shit and I felt they were doing me a lot more harm than good. He tried once again to push A) religion, and B) therapy on me. I despise religion, the pills SUCK, and I can�t afford therapy, so apparently there is no solution he can offer me for my depression.
Oh, well. I�ve dealt with it alone for the past forty or so years, so I suppose I can keep on doing it.
And he switched me from Claritin to Zyrtec for my allergies�so far, I don�t think it�s doing shit. If anything, I�m itchier and stuffier than I was on the Claritin, and it makes me sleepy. But the docs don�t get the kickbacks for telling me to take generic, OTC pills, right? I�m willing to try these out for a month, but if they don�t work�I�m going back to generic loratadine, and getting about 4 month�s worth for less than what I�d pay for thirty Zyrtec. For a buck a day, I want a fucking miracle drug.
Spouse is gradually healing up from his bike wreck. His scabbiness and bruisiness is revolting, but the main worry is his left arm/shoulder. He went in for an MRI yesterday (Hee. I just typo�ed that. It came out MR$I. How Freudian.) to find out if there is anything really bad going on in there. The huge, deep, slow-rising bruise that didn�t even surface until last Tuesday kind of points to the cause of the shoulder pain�he obviously slammed his upper arm into something pretty damned hard. Niece had us worried a bit for a while, with persistent knee pain and swelling. But the ortho said that she has no permanent damage, and she�s off the crutches and out of the brace now, thank goodness.
Spouse and I finally managed to get the pool closed on Sunday. Once our buddy S. came over and helped me get the ladder out on Saturday, we were able to get on with it and do all the closing up maintenance and get that looming shadow off of me, dammit!I also managed to dump the flowerpots and pull up the annuals bed, make a Sunday dinner of turkey, stuffing, baked sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes and gravy, peas, and homemade brownies for dessert.
All that in one day, despite having frittered away the morning in church! I couldn�t really get out of it, what with W & T not having too many friends or any family to speak of. Surprisingly, Spouse went with. Unsurprisingly, he bitched, moaned, snarked, and acted like a boob nearly the whole time.And I wasn�t really in the mood, as the whole thing was very trying for me. Honestly?
I had a lot less problem with flying to Vermont and being the matron of honor at their civil union than I did with sitting quietly in the back of a church while the whole Episcopalian dog & pony show cruised by. Since confirmations are done by the bishop, we got treated to the whole shebang�crucifers and acolytes, thurifers stinking up the joint with swinging censers, hearty handshakes and fellowship all around, and (ugh) the quaint custom of contributing to the �bishop�s purse�. Which means the bishop gets to take the whole collection for his pet projects.
Yep. Kickin� it to the bish.
The skim goes to the big guy.
I�d planned on dropping in a fiver, but when I saw that? Changed my mind. We each dropped in a buck, though, just to be civil.
Well, I guess I had quite a lot to say today, despite my lack of enthusiasm. Now I get to check one item off of my obligations list.
Reading: �A Home at the End of the World�, by Michael Cunningham. Beading: I need to whip up something for my boss�s birthday next week. I did a BC Survivor bracelet last year, back before she was my boss. Her then-team bought it and gave it to her. Maybe a keychain or that kind of thing? I dunno.
Listening: back and forth between WXRT and The Drive. Bob Seger, The Kinks, George Harrison, Billy Joel .
At Random: click here
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