disturbed
March 29, 2006, 5:23 P.M.
Last night, he told me he had to get up very early. "But I'll try not to disturb you."
Well, the clock radio going off at full volume, blasting me across the room, was fairly disturbing. And when it went off again 9 minutes later, it pretty much severed my very fragile connection to sleep. So--medication or not, exhaustion or not, I was awake by three-thirty again today.
Not the best start to a day where I was booked into various meetings from eight a.m. to noon.
I cannot keep this up. I'm averaging around four hours on a weeknight, and it just isn't cutting it. I actively tried to doze off in my chair last night, figuring that if I was going to be up at three, I may as well start sleeping at eight. But it didn't work. I got comfortable in my sweats, wrapped up in my quilt, and read my book all evening, but as tired as I was, I never managed to nod off.
Part of the problem--for right now, at least--may be the girly-hell precursor thing. It showed up today, and suddenly, everything I've felt for the last three days makes sense. Why can I never spot it on the front end?
I've been going out and sitting in my car at lunchtime lately. I just do not have the energy to exercise, and getting out of the building (even if it's only to the parking lot) is a temporary relief I'm evidently in need of. I don't want to be there, so I absent myself and go read in the privacy of the retro-rocket. It's what I used to do at Wally's, back in the old days--when my contempt for my company and co-workers threatened to overcome my good manners.It still works. I mean, it isn't a perfect solution, but it keeps me from losing it.
The "Yep, It's a John Irving Novel" Checklist:
- Wrestling
- Writers
- New England prep school
- University of Iowa
- Prostitutes
- Europe
- Eccentric "family" arrangement
- Unbalanced single parent
- Womanizing man
- Woman with speech issues
- Oversized, awkward, inappropriately sexual girl
- Young man's coming of age
- Death
- Bears
Well, I'm on page 535 of "Until I find You", and we've hit everything but the bears...but I've got 285 pages to go, so I still have hope that things could take a turn for the Ursine.
What with working all day, and vegging all evening, and tossin' and turnin' all night, I don't really have much to say. I'm such a zombie.
Reading: "Until I Find You", by John Irving.
Listening: XM, "Laugh 151" and "Comedy 150". George Carlin, Brian Regan, Jake Johannsen. And the incomparable Shel Silverstein, doing "Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout." Squee.
Beading: A long necklace with jade donut pendant and a multistrand/catch bead motif. I'm kind of stuck right now.
One Year Ago, I didn't post.
At Random: click here
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