working out isn't working out
Tuesday, Jun. 28, 2005, 8:38 PM
I'm so played out this week from stress and overloaded with work--at the office and at home--that I just can't make myself go to the gym. I'm wiped, and I don't have one scrap of energy to give to exercise. I am trying to get in some beading and reading and general "me time", so something's got to give. I can't just keep draining my spirit dry for the sake of my figure, but I have to pick and choose which things I do for my own sake.
I can't do it all, because there aren't enough hours in the day. Just once, I wish someone would step in and take over some of the responsibility for keeping this house running, and for keeping my work team running--but that isn't going to happen. So this week, I'm choosing to give my psyche a break, and tending to it instead of my body.
I have to go to that wake after work tomorrow, and I'm dreading it. There is very little chance that I can get out of work on Thursday for the funeral, but I have a strong feeling that Niece and Nephew are going to try to get me to be there. It tears me up, but I have way too many pots boiling at work, and this is only a four-day work week for us. We are off Friday through Monday for the Fourth, and I'm off the 11th through the 15th for surgery. I don't have a minute to spare away from the office.
And I can't begin to say how much that sucks.
We had a violent thunderstorm hit here this morning, at precisely the time I take Raji for her walk. I had to wait until 6 am to take her, which made me late leaving for work. Which was compounded by the fact that I had to stop on the way, to be violently sick. Stress much? Even so, I never managed to get her to do all of her business. I asked Spouse to try, and he said he did, but had no luck. So I ended up having to walk her as soon as I got home--when it was 93� outside. Then I had to come in and do laundry, chunk up two cantaloupes (I had to do it tonight--trash night-- so I could get rid of the stinky rinds.) gather all the trash, package the recycling, and put all that on the curb, water the plant on the porch that didn't get any rain, and clean up the usual messy kitchen I come home to every night. Then I did more laundry.
I did a rush-rush on all that, so I could sit down for a while and bead. I managed to get the entire choker done, and then decided to come in here write for a while. Once I get this done, I�m going to walk the dog again and then go to bed.
I did manage to scarf down a bowl of cereal in there somewhere.
God, what a fucking exciting life is mine.
Reading: "Fifty Best Mysteries", edited by (the late, great)Eleanor Sullivan. An anthology of great short stories from the first fifty years of EQMM
Also: �Murder at Hobcaw Barony� By Elliott Roosevelt. One of the Eleanor Roosevelt mysteries. This one also has Bogie, Tallulah, Bernard Baruch, Walter Winchell, and Daryl F. Zanuck in it. Listening: XM Radio, �Bluesville�. Billy Boy Arnold, Junior Parker, Muddy Waters, John Lee Hooker, Marcia Ball�
Beading: A choker to go with my new turquoise-blue outfit.
One Year Ago, I was ranting incoherently.