fuckupitude*
Wednesday, Apr. 13, 2005, 9:29 PM
My co-worker, driven half-mad with the uncertainty of our positions lately, went and talked to the boss. Now she says she feels better about things, and even though She Boss was terribly vague and didn't really say anything other than "stick around" she is in a better frame of mind about things.
She hasn't been there for 10 years, like I have. In my experience, if they have good news, they tell you. Even though they may not be at liberty to say at the moment, they are pretty specific about good news coming. A typical comment would be: "Just wait till June--you'll be very glad you did", or something to that effect.
Of course, I do not know the woman at all--that may not be her style. I'm not saying anything is written in stone. I'm just saying that it looks rather bad from here, and no one is really doing much to improve the view. I talked to old boss this afternoon. Him, I know how to read. He was just as full of meaningless head-pats and vague "it'll be okay"s as She Boss.
And even if the news is good for me from their perspective, that doesn't mean it's good from mine. The corporate view there, of course, is that workers are a commodity, to be used when, where, and how they see fit. Love your job? They don't care. Take your career path seriously? They don't care.
If you give service for money, they will try hard to keep you, and put you into an available position. And feel all good about themselves doing it. But I don't want to go into a different position there. I want to do what I do. It is a valid, bona-fide career. My career. And I'm not prepared to give it up in order to stay at that company. I am a software tester, not a corporate hack.
Did I mention that worthless co-worker is back? Part time, for now, I guess. But working just as hard at doing nothing as she ever did. Giving the team a black eye. My former boss said today that the opinion of me and my good co-worker in the company is very good. It is not tainted by her worthlessness and fuckupitude*.
But I worry, because I don't want a pity party.
I don't want them thinking Oh, poor X and Y...they try their best. Too bad Z sucks so bad.
I want them trembling in fear when faced with our awesome testing machine, warning each other that my team will kick their code six ways to Sunday.
I cooked a meal tonight--nothing fancy, but felt like I needed to feed my hubby, as he was reduced to eating White Castle sliders for dinner last night. How he can even face that toxic crap is beyond me. >>shudder<<Anyway, I did some pork chops in the oven, rice pilaf, and peas. Plus applesauce, and a salad to nosh on while his dinner heats up. I feel compelled to make him a real meal, with vegetables involved, at least once a week; otherwise he's going to die of rickets or scurvy or Kwashiorkor or some other malnourishment.
Because, and I have to say this even though I love him dearly--he isn't smart enough to feed himself properly. He can be such a Homer.
GYM REPORT:
33 minutes
1.80 miles
232 calories
254.75 at weigh-in
I know I'm not supposed to weigh myself so often, but I felt lighter, and I was wondering if it was my imagination.
Nope!
*It is so a word. Shut up.
Reading: "Hard Times (For These Times)"by Charles Dickens
Listening: Listening: XM Satellite Radio, "70's on 7". Song Sample for Today:
"You Make Me Feel Like Dancing", by Leo Sayer
Beading: Still plugging away on my niece's grad gift; I've done nearly 14 inches so far and may need to get more beads in order to finish.