spread me a little thinner, I can take it.
Saturday, Feb. 26, 2005, 1:30 PM
Spouse had to go in for a shift today, so I stayed quiet this morning, taking the dog for a walk, sitting for a while with her across my lap and getting in some cuddle time, enjoying a leisurely cup of coffee.
As soon as he got up, I called the hairdresser's for an appointment. I was going to wait till next weekend, but since he's decided we are going up to the Bay then, I figured I'd better get it done asap. After I secured a 3:30 appointment for this afternoon, it was time to get to work.
Housework sucks.
But it does need doing occasionally.
Laundry, cleaning the bathroom, doing up the dishes from our late supper last night, and going through the house picking up, vacuuming, shaking rugs, etc. At least it's done now, for now.
When Raj jumped off my lap to bark at something outside the window this morning, she must have landed wrong. Now she's limping around, favoring her left foreleg, and wanting me to hold her. Poor girl, she just doesn't understand that she's not a puppy anymore. Senior citizen pooches just can't abuse themselves like that and get away with it. It isn't serious, as far as I can tell. She doesn't cry or pull away when I manipulate it. There isn't any swelling or anything that feels out of joint. She just favors it when she walks.
Still, it is one more thing on top of the stress pile.
My anxiety levels are off the chart, anyway. It's been hellish these last several weeks. Coping with a major snowstorm while Spouse was out of town, him losing his job, all the money troubles that result, injuring my neck, me getting the flu, him getting the flu, supervisor bailing at work, all the other shite at work, all the work at work, Mom injured, Mom in the hospital, and on and on. All this is cumulative when it comes to my emotional state. I'm exhausted, wrung out, strung out, and depressed. I do try to be strong, take everything in stride, and see past all the crap, but the pile is getting too high to see over, I guess. And it is starting to manifest in the old, gastro-intestinal way.
I feel like this at the end of every winter, and it always seems like it's touch and go whether I will outlast the season, or vice versa.
And now, my brother-in-law has asked that we "babysit" Spouse's semi-incompetent father when he and his wife go to Antigua for 10 days. I feel very obligated to say yes, at the same time knowing that I just don't have it in me to deal with him right now. I think it would be easier to face if there was anything really wrong with my FIL, but there isn't. He's just lazy, to the point of not even taking care of his own hygiene, health, and nutrition. I love him very much, but the truth is the truth. I know what P&E go through with him. He has to be made to bathe, made to eat, made to take any medications. It's a lot of work--work I don't have time for.
But it is exactly because I know this that I don't feel I can deny P&E, whom I adore, a peaceful and restful vacation from it.
Compounding things is the fact that we don't really have room for him, either, and with Spouse and myself on different shifts, it is totally impractical to share a room, which we'd have to do if he came to stay.
I don't know what to do, but I suppose I'll end up with him here. He works days, and I work days, while Spouse wouldn't even have to see the old fart the whole time, so once again, I end up with the burden of it. Which I'll be expected to shoulder like it's no big deal.
As opposed to the major, Busby Berkely-style production number he put on last week over just going to visit my mom in the hospital.
Well, I suppose it's time to get my self cleaned up, and go run errands and get my hair done. But first, a little exercise.
(HOME)GYM REPORT:15.00 minutes
.75 miles
115 calories
This was supplemental to a morning walk outside, of approximately .65 miles.
Reading: "The Murder Room", by P.D. James.
Listening: Not at present.
Beading: No current project.