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Thursday, Feb. 03, 2005,
Well, Spouse is still employed. For now. Things are not going well for him at work, but I really don't want to have to carry that load in addition to my own burdens. I honestly do not have the strength.
I am being put into the position of doing all aspects of the job I turned down, so it is obvious that my worst-case scenario is actualized. No promotion, no raise, do the job anyway. I'm not a happy girl.
Went to the library last night; both of us desperate for something to read. I got "Amazonia: Five Years at the Center of the Dot.Com Juggernaut", by James Marcus, "Gasping for Airtime : Two Years in the Trenches of Saturday Night Live", by Jay Mohr, "Olivia Joules and the Overactive Imagination" by Helen Fielding, and some short attention span reading in the form of old Ed Hoch-edited numbers of "The Year's Best Mystery and Suspense Stories" from the eighties and nineties. Those are always a treasure-trove of small gems from the small group of writers who have mastered the difficult art of the mystery short story. Ruth Rendell, Nancy Pickard, Donald Westlake, Peter Lovesey, and the editor himself, Edward D. Hoch, to name a few.I find myself struggling with the Anita Shreve...I think part of the problem is that this is not a book that lends itself to my reading schedule. It needs a long, rainy afternoon of uninterrupted reading. I don't really get those any more. I get a hastily snatched five minutes here, fifteen minutes there...and lots of time between them to forget the finer points of the narrative. My classics program is suffering from the same thing. Anyway, I've set the Shreve aside for evening reading, and picked up Amazonia for break time reading. I'm going to have to give something up if I want to stay a reader--Hmmm. How about housework?
I am very tired, and in severe pain. In addition to the continuing hand/wrist pain, I can barely move my head. Muscles and joins in my neck and jaw are seriously effed up at the moment. Also, bad pain in my low back and hips (bad hip out of line again.) The stress from our collective job problems, and the ever-present pain have me operating on next to no sleep. I'm feeling quite without resources today. I'd probably be crying if I could summon the energy. But I just want to stop hurting and go to sleep.
No gym, no Gym Report.
&*^%$! doctor's office! I called to try and get in for this neck pain, and maybe get some magic beans to take the pain away and let me get some sleep. They tell me my symptoms could be a heart attack and tell me to go to the frickin' emergency room. Asshats. Neck pain is one symptom out of about 25 for a heart attack in females. The only one I have. I, who have a history of skeletal problems. So go get an EKG and run up a bunch of bills I can't afford? I don't think so.
5:21 PM UPDATE. LATER THAT DAY...
Well, I was wrong. Spouse is not still employed. He got fired today.
I'm a little too upset to write about it right now.
I left work early and went to the chiropracter; saw a different Doc. She fixed me. And comped me to 10 minutes on the automatic massage table. Nice. Me likey!
Reading: "Amazonia: Five Years at the Center of the Dot.Com Juggernaut", by James Marcus.
Listening: XM Radio, "Fred", "The Loft"(they call it "mellow rock", but it is very eclectic--even eccentric. Cowboy Junkies juxtaposed with Dan Fogelberg, to use a recent example)
Beading: Ready to start on the boot anklet. But not yet. My hands are just not cooperating.
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