mind made up
Monday, Jan. 31, 2005,
Well, I'd pretty much made up my mind on the whole job thing when I came in to work this morning, but any part of me that wasn't sure about turning it down had certainly fallen silent by 8:30. Today was an immediate and unending parade of people I can't deal with.
True Thoughts From whyme's Brain:
I really, really, really hate most of these people. I am not a people person. That is a people job. Fuck it, I'd be miserable. Fuck them. I wouldn't piss on them if they were on fire.
That is the plain, unvarnished truth. I'm not kidding myself anymore.
If the Boss is not lying, then rejecting this job does not mean consigning myself to failure. There is still a path for me to grow and advance, without taking the administration and management route.
Of course, if he is lying, then I'm slamming a door forever here. But what difference does that really make, if I never intend to walk through it anyway?
I keep asking myself: "Is it better to fail to attempt, or fail at the attempt?"
Gym Report:26.00 minutes
1.45 miles
201 calories
I upped the angle of incline a bit to get those numbers. Not a lot, as too much incline will wreck my knee--but enough to hit the calories I wanted in that time allowance.
Yesterday had it's ups and downs. We argued, we went out to lunch, we did some shopping, and we argued a little more. He had me half-insane before dinner. I wrote a big long bitchy screed about it, but I deleted it. I've been doing that a lot lately.
Reading: "The Last Time They Met", by Anita Shreve.
Listening: N/A. Not in the mood.
Beading: Finished the black and pewter beaded watchband. Only the clasp left on the silver metallic spiral bracelet.