life hating diatribe (bushsucks)
Friday, Sept. 24, 2004, 2:07 PM
So. About the good, good girl thing?
Yeah. I lied.
Two ham sandwiches, the rest of Spouse�s doggie-bagged steak, and three (THREE!!) chocolate chip cookies.
And some Pepsi.
Not to mention the things I didn�t do--like walk, and drink my water, and take my fiber pill. I was the bad girl all over, last night. And I paid for it, too. Instead of waking in the night to pee, I awoke instead with a punishing thirst and raging indigestion, and got up this morning with the salt bloat. So that, I�m afraid, was a last hurrah for the foreseeable future. Back on the wagon for me.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
After two Friday afternoons in a row of waiting at home (in vain) for the furnace guy, I desperately need to catch up on my errands. So today�s the day, right?
Wrong. The entire middle of town will be shut down for the middle of the day. Why, you ask? Why because of the �Frat Boy-In-Chief�, of course. Seems he�s making a pass down 52nd Street on his way between engagements.
If I ever wondered if maybe he wasn�t actually a moron, those doubts are laid to rest. Anyone who can�t go from Janesville to Racine without driving through Kenosha is an idiot, indeed.
I keep finding myself having to think about that man today, whether I like it or not. After posting a response to WB�s very well written entry regarding Kerry, I was attacked by a bush supporter, and required to defend myself. However, I took the high road, re-stated my opinion, and was entirely gracious to the asshole neocon prick person who insulted me. Kill �em with kindness, you know.
Anyway, the gist of my opinion:
�The reason the two party system is currently in crisis is that no candidate is "sold" to us on his merits; only as an alternative to the evil of the opponent. To those of us in the middle, who are "sensible shoppers", it is very frustrating, because we want to know each candidate's "ingredients", but all we hear is "the OTHER brand causes CANCER! You don't want CANCER, DO you?!" Our candidates may stand for many things, good and bad, but we are apparently not allowed to know what those things are. Maybe the thing I find most offensive about this approach is that it assumes the average voter is stupid, irrational, and must be controlled by primal motivations, such as fear.�
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Soooo, I�m home this p.m., and avoiding 52nd.
I did stop at Woody�s on the way to town and picked up fresh fruit, Lean Cuisine dinners, ICBINB spray (regular, and the new one. Garlic-Herb. I�m thinking it will be good on veggies, potatoes, chicken breasts, etc. No salt!), Lime Bliss water, and Dexatrim Green Tea. It is easier to be good when you are adequately stocked with good choices.
I�m almost sorry I came home, though. The damn dog decided to have opinions in the living room again. Two pees and a poo�s worth of opinions. And these weren�t the �Oh, Mommy, I�m sorry but I couldn�t hold it anymore messes, either. Not at 12:45 in the afternoon. These were forced, in order to let me know how mad she is about Daddy�s absence. She also got hold of some paper and shredded it all over, and unmade the bed.
She picked the wrong day, I�m telling� ya. So now she�s doing hard time in her crate. If I can�t trust her loose, that�s where she�ll be from now on. We go through something like this each time Spouse has to go on the road, and I ALWAYS WIN. But she never stops trying the power plays for the top dog position. Pack mentality sucks. I think the fact that I slept in the new bed last night is what set her off. (I slept pretty well, though�no muscle or bone aches this morning, and my hands weren�t numb.)
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
I�m a bit pissed at Spouse, again. He gets these fits where he feels the need to �clean up� the computer. That�s fine; a noble urge. BUT. If you don�t recognize a file, ASK ME!!!!! There�s only the two of us; if something is on the C drive, and it�s not yours, it�s probably mine!!!! And, if you ask, and I say it isn�t mine, THEN you can delete it.
He�s deleted short stories, poems, reference sheets for HTML and web design, and even recipes. I guess I�ll just have to start throwing everything on a floppy again. But why should I have to? Why the fuck should I have to?!
I am the one who took my bonus and bought this fucking computer. It is MY computer. Why am I not allowed to keep files on MY computer?
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Honestly, I�ve been so very angry, about so much, lately. I guess I am only allotted two moods. Depressed, or Angry. No wonder I abuse food until the sweet, calming apathy of a good depression takes over my life again. I�m just into crock-pot suicide. Instead of quickly poisoning myself into real death with pills or drain cleaner, I�m force-feeding myself huge amounts of toxic foods, until the pseudo-death of depression makes the anger go away.
I really hate my life.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
You know, I was going to post something about my beading project, but after those last incredibly honest and revealing lines, I just can�t get into it, somehow.
.
.
.
.
Reading: October issue of Vanity Fair, �The Snapper� by Roddy Doyle
Music: XM Radio; �On Broadway�, and Sirius; �Standards� .
Beading: Victorian choker, in soft purples. Yeah, still.