grand central asshole
January 12, 2012

grossness warning on this post: this is the grandpappy of TMI entries, so read on at your own risk.

Spouse and I are disgusting creatures this week--he is experiencing a return of the growth on the side of his neck that I have been wont to call his "vestigial twin", and in addition, has had the unsavory task of having to inspect my personal bit of hideousness--what seemed to be an anorectal abcess (layman's terms: I have a boil on my butthole). So we were both busy this morning contacting our respective doctors and making appointments to have the poison sucked out of us. Mine was today, his is Monday.

I wasn't thrilled to have to take a half-day today, since I just called in with a sick headache on Tuesday. But this damned thing sprang into being between Tuesday evening when I showered before bed, and Wednesday morning when I showered before work. (Yeah, I take a lot of showers when I don'tr feel well.) I don't usually get too worked up about my outbreaks. But the accepted wisdom for a boil in that particular place is pretty much (literally) "get your ass to the doctor."

I will confess that I wasn't exactly UNthrilled to get out of there early, though, either. The weather is finally catching up with us here and winter is bearing down with cold, wind, and snow today. We are slated for anywhere from three to eight inches, so yay, right? Since they predicted the worst to hit around my usual afteroon drivetime, I wasn't going to weep about leaving 3 hours early. Can't really cry about it, though--as Mary Dixon said on the radio this morning: "Caution: when you go outside today, it's going to be like Chicago in January out there". Actual seasonally appropriate weather, in other words. Anyway it's windy and snowy as hell out there now--should make the morning commust suck royally. But maybe it will finally kill the dandelions growing in my yard!

Anyway--the doctor was unavailable, as usual, so I saw the NP for my embarassing problem. Yeah. THAT was sure fun. Because she didn't know what the hell I had--but she didn't THINK it was a boil. But it MIGHT be...or it might be a thrombosed hemorrhoid. So I got to go over across the hall to see the the surgeon, and shell out ANOTHER $25 copay have HIM give it a look and poke it with his finger. And it turned out to be thrombosed hemorrhoid. But a minimally complex issue, apparently, because he didn't feel it needed any cutting--just nurse it along, keep it clean and it will resolve itself. Start taking Metamucil. Bleagh. So I came home and took a nap. What the hell--had to get something out of this day.

Woke up to a phone call from my mom. So, to tally up, we have: incredibly sore butt for which I left work early, skipped lunch, visited two doctor's offices, spent fifty bucks, and got ZERO RELIEF. Nasty snowstorm. Call from Mom.

Well, some days suck in a big way, some days just suck low-level--but all over.