"without consulting me", or how my husband the control freak ruined my four-day weekend
Monday, Oct. 11, 2004,

Prelude: Wednesday
Having requested that I research rates and fares for a trip to Las Vegas, he is unhappy with my answer, and chooses not to believe me, as my answer was not to his liking. He re-performs the research himself. Having come up with the same answer, he is sulky and hard to bear.

Day 1, Thursday (my birthday, as well as his)
He decides that he wants to go to the Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago. I do not want to spend my birthday doing this, but I do. Upon seeing all of the changes to the museum, and realizing how much they charge, he decides that he is very disappointed, and proceeds to convey to me, at length, a verbal litany of the depth of his disappointment.

While at the museum, he announces that he is starving and we have to eat lunch NOW. Now I�m the one who is disappointed, because I was planning on having lunch at Fogo de Chao, not the museum�s cafeteria. After we eat, he wanders about a bit more before deciding that he hates the whole museum and he leaves in a huff.

As an added tension inducer, because he knows it makes me a nervous wreck, he drives all the way to Chicago and halfway home with next to no gasoline in his car. Every time the audible warning sounded, I nearly pissed myself. I have real issues with driving on empty. IT TERRIFIES ME. It really is not fair to treat my reactions as a fucking toy.

On the way home, he stops at Russell�s for barbecue. Without consulting me.
I had already eaten at the museum, at his insistence, and was not at all hungry, so he had already ensured that my enjoyment would be minimal. End result: He got the birthday meal he wanted, and I did not. And I felt queasy to boot.

He continued throughout the day to insist that we go somewhere for the weekend, but was too lazy to do any checking or make any decisions, leaving it up to me. I select Grand Rapids, Michigan, to his (apparently enthusiastic) agreement.

So I had to spend the rest of my birthday doing load after load of laundry, researching weekend destinations, and getting packed.

Day 2, Friday
It rained. So we didn�t go. After spending the evening of my birthday preparing for this trip he insisted on, He decided that the rain had ruined everything and we were not going. (Don�t ask me. He�s insane.)
BUT�the bad weather would not keep us from going to Schaumburg! WTF? Why the hell do we need to go to Schaumburg? Oh, excuse me. Because it will be �fun�, of course. As inducement, he tells me we�ll go to the good bead store in Schaumburg. So I go. To sit in the car, in the rain, while he talks to his brother at the dealership. To walk around the MALL FROM HELL, looking at a bunch of shit I don�t want, think is hideous, couldn�t fit into, or couldn�t afford. What a fucking joy. I bought an air freshener for my car and a tub of Body Butter. Oh, such fun!

Then he wanted lunch, and decided we�d go to �Sal & Carvao�, since �you want rodezio.� So I did get rodezio this weekend, but only under his control. Not the day I wanted, or the place I wanted. At his discretion only.

After what was, I have to admit, a very good lunch, he decided he�d eaten so much that he just wanted to go straight home and take a nap. So we whizzed out of Schaumburg so fast I never even got a chance to say hey, what about the bead store?

Yep. Like a lot of his promises lately, it was only a lie to get me to do what he wanted.

So we are driving home, and he suddenly picks up his phone and calls someone. He doesn�t say anything to me, so I have no idea at first who he�s talking to. Then I realize: It is his ex-sis-in-law. My heart sinks with a clunk. He�s inviting the kids over. Without consulting me.

So�she drops the kids off for an overnight stay at about 5. They have to be fed, of course, and I took no interest in seeing that it got done. I don�t want to neglect the kids, but by this point I�m really starting to get fed up. He wanted them, he invited them, let him deal with them. Of course, eventually (after his attention span wears off in about an hour) he just stops dealing with them, and I have no choice. Suffice it to say that it was a long evening. I did say my piece at one point towards the end of the evening, telling him how much I appreciated him inviting the kids over and then proceeding to spend the whole evening on his ass in bed.

After getting Niece settled in, and taking the dog out, I went to bed.

Day 3, Saturday
The next morning was almost completely taken up with the kids. We took them out to breakfast, and then to visit Grandpa and Uncle P and Aunt E. Then we came home and their mom picked them up. It was about 11, so the morning was shot.

He says he wants to run up to Circuit City to get some DVDs, so we go. On the way, he starts weaseling around about what he wants for dinner. Lasagna. Sure, easy for him to say. But just getting me to agree to make him a lasagna was not enough, uh-uh, no-sir, not for my Burgermeister.
He called his brother, and said �She�s making lasagna. Want her to make you a pan?�
Without consulting me. So apparently I�d agreed to make two lasagnas. Enough for him? What do you think? He starts to whimper and hedge and angle for�cookies. Home-made, shitload of work, chop the freakin� nuts yourself COOKIES! At this point, I had evidently surrendered all self-will, and spent the rest of the day shopping and cooking and baking and cleaning up.

While HE took a four-hour nap.

I announced that I had had it, that he had run my weekend his way for three days, I was fed to the teeth, and Sunday was mine. He could sit and spin. My only responsibility was to be home when JR stopped by to pick up his lasagna. He said fine. But we all know waaay better than that by now, don�t we, boys and girls?

Day 4, Sunday

He invited his mother. Jesus Wept�he invited that woman to my house. Say it with me, people--Without consulting me. Well, obviously. I certainly wouldn't have agreed to it if he had. I have a car and any number of elswheres to be.

And he expected me to be civil to her and welcome her. I had to make conversation with her. She hugged me.

I feel dirty.

Seriously, if someone wanted to kick him square in the balls on my behalf, I�d not say them nay.
I hope that he had a great fucking weekend, because he sure as hell ruined just about every waking minute of mine.