who put the ouch in grouch
August 10, 2005, 7:17 A.M.
Well, I am feeling a (physically) little better today--my hand still hurts ferociously, and the right hand hurts as well, from being strained. But the awful sick feeling, the wooziness, and the thick haziness over my brain seem to have passed off at last.
I made a big effort to shake this crap off yesterday, when I did a few dishes, put the garbage and recycling out, swept the kitchen and ran the vacuum around. Not a tremendous lot of work, but it did make me feel more comfortable to sit in my chair and rest, when I didn�t see quite so much mess waiting for me to deal with it.
Sigh. I just got off the phone with Spouse, who is apparently doubling up on his efforts to drive me batshit loony, and now I don�t even have the time for a hurried diary entry, because I have to go out to breakfast with him. Which means getting cleaned up and dressed, which takes three times as long with no hands. Fuckfuckfuck. You would think, after 22 years, that he would have gotten the message by now. It is such a SIMPLE message: �When I don�t feel well, leave me the fuck alone.� But no--he has to try and show me attention in his clumsy, cloddish ways, and they always involve some heavy, indigestible food that I really can�t eat and don�t even want to smell. I think I�ll be brutal over breakfast, and really let him have it about all the sabotage. I am in way too much pain to have the patience for those control games.
Reading: �Time to Be in Earnest : A Fragment of Autobiography�, by P. D. James.
Listening: nothing
Beading: nope
One Year Ago, I lost Aunt Nellie.