spinning out
January 22, 2018, 5:57 P.M.

I think I'm losing control of me again. According to the scale, I have gained a total of 5 pounds in about two and a half weeks, which spells disaster if I can't get hold of myself.

One thing is sure: these weekends to myself are bad news for my eating habits. Going to the grocery store by myself AND being alone at home all day is not a scenario where I can be trusted.

And I am quite sure that the drinking isn't helping, either. It isn't so much the shot or two of vodka, as it is the sugary mixture of grapefruit juice and cran-raspberry cocktail I like for a mixer--and the breakdown of self-control that happens when I get a little lit, which opens the door for binging on junk.

So that, I think, is the first thing that has to stop. Given my family traits, it isn't wise for me to make a habit of it, anyway. Alcoholism, hypothyroidism, IBS, depression & anxiety--so much genetic baggage there to make drinking a definite pitfall.

I checked in at the doctor's office and they said they will be havinga replacement for my doctor coming into the practice, but they don't know when. Meanwhile, the NPs and the PA are still taking appointments, so I scheduled my physical for March first, and I will be able to get my labs and meds taken care of--that is a load off of my mind. (I don't know if it is too early to tell about the change of thyroid med brands, but I have a hunch the new stuff isn't working very well.)

The weather was really bad on the morning of my vacation day last Tuesday, so we didn't get to go to the movies--by the time the snow let up and we got everything cleaned off and shoveled out, it was too late for the morning show, and we had other stuff we wanted to do as well, so we skipped it. Bummed me out, because I really want to see it. Gary Oldman looks amazing in it (well really, when doesn't he?), and it is a topic that interests us both. And a rare opportunity to see a movie made for grown-ups.

Although my chance scheduling of a vacation day for the morning of a snowstorm meant that I didn't have to fight my way into the office through it for a second day, I didn't catch much of a break at work, otherwise. My co-worker decided to have one of her "two-day migraines", which meant that she never showed up on Tuesday--OR on Wednesday--so despite having a day off, I still had to cover for her being out three days in a row (she's always off Mondays, and if she calls in sick and gets dinged for it, she always makes sure to take a second day, since it falls under the same "occurence").

So Wednesday was two days' worth of two people's work--all for me. No day off goes unpunished, right?

Spouse managed to make a plan for this Tuesday, as well, although this one doesn't require me to take a day off. Dinner after work on Tuesday with Niece. Well, after work for me, anyway. It happens to be the day off for Spouse and Niece.

And anything but, for me. My boss is coming in to town this week, and will be at the office Tuesday thru Friday--oh, effing YAY. This is never good. I think it will be hell, actually. And now that we get reviewed quarterly, and because of the toxic levels of managerial dysfunction in this office, I expect this much more often, in future.