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I need some new clothes
August 18 , 2017

I haven't said much lately about the weight loss efforts, but I have been staying more or less on track. I weighed myself yesterday and found I'd broken through a plateau I'd hit, and I'm at 39 pounds lost. But more significant than the number on the scale is the way my clothes are fitting: they aren't.

Everything is a bit big on me these days. And by a bit big, I mean that it is even bigger than the "a bit big" I find necessary for comfort. I was wearing a knit top and shorts yesterday after work--ones I've had for years. I looked like I was dressed up in mommy's clothes, they were hanging on me so. My work pants and polo shirts are all too baggy, too. Even some of the stuff I bought to wear on vacation is droopy on me.

No getting around it, I need some clothes. I wish I didn't hate shopping for them so much. Because this is going to have to be dealt with by trying shit on, not just ordering some stuff online. And I would personally rather die stand in a fitting room, pulling clothes on and off of my body.

And Spouse needs some new clothes as well--he will be starting his new job on the 28th, and will need some new work tees and jeans--that fit him! He hasn't lost a whole lot, but he is swimming in his clothes lately, and looks like a big old sad sack of sh**. But he hates buying clothes as much as I do, and probably hates the trying on even more.

I have been trying to get him to go for walks in the evenings these past few days, since he got the all-clear from the doctor. He has been...resisting. I knew he would, so I am not giving up my regular walking regimen, but I am perfectly willing to add a nightly walk--it would only help us both. I am trying to get him to understand that he needs to build up some stamina so he can adequately perform at a job. He doesn't get it. He thinks 'resting' is going to give him that, and it just isn't.

I am doing my best to motivate him without pressuring him, but I can't make him want to make the effort. I even spent a big chunk of the money I've been saving for a fountain pen splurge, and ordered him a new pair of the slip-on sneakers he likes. Never mind the $200-odd bucks he spent on getting professionally fitted, top-quality New Balance shoes which he won't wear--because he is literally too out of shape to bend over and tie the friggn' laces. Fine. He can wear those later, after he drops some pounds. For now, if it will make it easier for him to put on a pair of walking shoes and exercise, I will spend my money on getting him the slip-ons.

(God, I'm such an idiot. I know it. He'll never change, and he'll forever do his best to stand in my way and make sure I never change.)

recede - proceed

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