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crazed, dazed, and my eyes are glazed
March 28, 2017, 8:32 A.M.

I know I need to do an update, but it has been hectic lately, and once I do get a little down-time, I'm practically prostrated.


Work:
Major project shit going on. And with that major project shit, the extra-added fun of having to deal with people who don't understand what I do breathing down my neck and telling me how to do what I do.

Plus, everyone is so busy trying to push through their one specific thing they're working on that they have tunnel vision. They are stepping all over each other and ruining other people's test scenarios.

Dealing with having my computer replaced--which seems to be the nightmare that keeps on giving.

Boss decided it was high time she popped in on us (my boss is in another state), so I had her to deal with for a good chunk of last week. Speaking of someone who doesn't understand what I do breathing down my neck and telling me how to do what I do...
Home:
Trying to crawl out of our winter-hole and get some stuff taken care of that needs doing.
Shopping around to replace the siding on the house. Yes, my house is brick. It also has three gables on the front and one on the back, all of which look like shit and need to be fixed. We decided to go with the same guy who replaced our roof. His bid and the siding he uses are both satisfactory, he is a dependable contractor, and I trust him. I am currently trying to pick a color, and down to a choice between between "desert sand" (a grey-beige color) and "mahogany" (a reddish-brown). Finding something un-boring that doesn't clash with the ugly yellow brick is a challange.

I spent a chunk of Sunday morning cleaning out the linen closet. Threw away a huge garbage bag full of old sheets, towels, and assorted junk, put the remaining stuff back neatly--and I SWEAR I didn't gain so much as a square inch of space. Which is why I always dread cleaning out that cupboard. It denies natural laws. It's a freaking Mystery Spot!

And I've been trying to catch up with getting all the bedding changed and washed, as I was behind on that. Between my room, SPouse's room, and the revolving series of old bedspreads we use as covers for for B's couch, it seems like we always have a pile of bulky bedding that needs to go in. And since I already seem to spend my entire weekend with the washing machine--even AFTER I make sure I do a load or two during the week--I am about at the end of my rope with the laundry. It is completely out of hand this winter, and it is completely unreasonable that we should have so much.

Then there was the task of getting several tons of rain & melted snow off of the pool cover; despite the rain this weekend, spouse was able to make some headway there. Still a shitload on there, but he pumped off enough to keep it from collapsing, at least.
Personal:
I have been trying to keep up my weight loss, and doing a fair job of it. I can say with pride that I have lost 24 pounds since the first of the year, but it has been--and continues to be--a struggle. The intermittent fasting seems to be keeping the weight going down, at a decent rate. For somebody with my metabolic challenges, I am pretty damned happy with the 1-2 pounds a week range, still going strong after 12 weeks or so. And this method makes it a lot easier to handle home life without a lot of changes and complications that would make Spouse a nightmare to deal with. I am getting my exercise in at the office, which also keeps my evenings more stress-free. But it does require me to get there early, and to sacrifice my noon break to it.

Spouse went to Costco last week and got his eye exam, & picked out new glasses. they were ready by Thursday, so we picked them up Saturday morning. Very handsome, and very different from what he usually gets. I love them. I think he does too, but he would never admit it.

We actually got out quite early on Saturday, just because we wanted to get everything done before the traffic and the crowds got bad. Even with Costco not opening till 9:30, we were done with all the errands and home by 10:30.
Social:
Speaking of Spouse and food--we are also making an attempt at being more social lately. We had a nice visit with Nephew & Wife on Thursday, since they were in town they stopped by for a while. And we went out to dinner with some friends on Saturday night--went to the place where Niece is chef, so we got to see her, too. More of that "climbing out of our burrow" thing, I guess. Being the intro-nerd I am, I wasn't looking forward to it, even though I pretended I was because Spouse was. But I did have a good time, and I knew I would if I forced myself to go. the place was really hectic, though, and by the time we got home my brain was fried from being out amongst humanity several times in one day.

AND--I talked to my dad on the phne, for the third weekend in a row. Doing way better at it!

I am spending less time online, lately. Kind of burned out on it, I guess. Finding it boring.
Finding everything boring, really. Weirdly, I am not feeling most of the effects of depression--but nothing really seems to ignite my interest, either. Usually when the exhaustion, sadness, and anxiety ease off, I start getting interested in things, but I think middle-age is catching up to me because there simply isn't anything I find interesting anymore. And even when I was depressed, I would be chomping at the bit by late March, wanting to get my garden started. This year? Couldn't be arsed to give f**k one about it.

It always comes out to the same thing. I am a person of finite resources. And most of the stuff that replenishes other people doesn't do anything but use me up. It doesn't matter how much fun something is, it requires effort and energy that I don't get back. And things that aren't fun at all (exercise, dieting, WORK) take a disproportionate amount of energy. The older I get, the fewer things replenish me.





Reading: I keep trying to start "Prudence of the Parsonage", by Ethel Hueston, but I stall out. More me than the book, though. Andhis one already seems like another case of my birthplace stalking me. The characters live in "Mt. Mark", Iowa, which is a very thinly disguised Mt. Pleasant, Iowa. Which is about 20 miles from my hometown, and where my favorite great-aunt & uncle lived when I was a kid. At least it's a Methodist parsonage--that Edna Ferber story about the stage-struck Presbyterian girl from my hometown hit it a LEETLE too close.

Listening: Dawes, The Decembrists, Cage the Elephant, Houndmouth. I ought to get some new stuff on my Walkman, but it's too much hassle to try and find something new that I like enough to spend money on.

Inked Up: No changes. I need to clean out a couple of them, but I haven't felt like messing with them. Haven't really been using them, either--another thing I can't work up an interest in, I guess.

recede - proceed

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