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midweek downer
December 02, 2015
It's becoming pretty clear that my recent mood swings are almost entirely work-related. When I'm not there, or thinking about "there", I am doing just fine. Weekends, holidays, vacations, evenings spent pursuing fun stuff--I'm just dandy. It's my job I hate.
More importantly: I--for what I believe is the first time in 20 years--hate my employer. Yes, I've had plenty of times over the years, where I've hated my job. Hours, commute, workload, type of work--combination of all of the above. And plenty of times where I've hated my boss, or my co-workers. But through it all, I have, at heart, believed that it has been a good place to work, and one with which I was proud to be associated.
I just don't think I can say that anymore. And it not only makes me very sad--it makes me feel like a failure. Because it means that everything of myself that I've spent two decades putting into the company, trying to make it better...didn't.
At least Spouse's co-workers were delighted with the almond crescents. Spouse took a share of them to work yesterday, and they loved them. Definitely a keeper recipe. Expensive, but "very easy and delicious" trumps expensive at Christmas time.
I think that taking them to work so he can gloat over his wife's talent and dedication in the baking department is a whole other way for Spouse to enjoy his cookies. Which is fine. Rock on wit cha bad self, hubby dear.
Tonight, I wanted to make super-easy fudge,but I'm too wiped out even for that. I did manage to stop at the dollar store and pick up a couple xmas decorations, though. I put up one or two decorations at work--keeps the haters at bay. The North Pole Mafia are always around to bitch at you if you don't decorate, but it is amazing just how tiny a bit of cheesy xmas tat it takes to throw them off the scent. Yes, my goal at this time of year is much the same as always--to whatever it takes to get everyone to leave me the hell alone.
Reading: "Ruth Fielding at Sunrise Farm: Or, what Became of the Raby Orphans" (1915), by Alice B. Emerson
Listening: A ginormous thumbdrive of holiday music. I'm in the process of loading my entire (vast and eclectic) collection of christmas music files and CDs onto one thumb drive, to listen to in the car. Everything from "Snoopy and the Red Baron" to "Adeste Fidelis", "Stille Nacht" to "Fairytale of New York".
Inked Up: The Conklin Duragraph with its usual Pelikan Brilliant Brown.
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