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why no updates?
May 26, 2015, 5:13 P.M.

Well, it isn't that I haven't been writing.  I've been writing a lot--about how I want to change  my life, about how I'm tired of  my family and my co-workers pushing me around, about my  thoughts and feelings on the end of Mad Men. I've had much to say both offline, and  entirely unplugged--in my lovely notebooks, with my lovely fountain pens. Oh, I've been  writing. Just not here. 

I'm not sure why...

This diary is 11 years and 1 month old, so maybe I'm just tired of it. And too tired to make  the effort to change it, or move it,  or even to just shut it down.

Anyway. Had a 3-day weekend from hell. Spouse worked me like a dog and ran  me ragged.  Plus I managed to get my gardening done. And although that is quite enjoyable, it is very  taxing as well.


Friday--exhausted from an intense week at work, but tried to do some necessary shopping  after work. Gotta love old K-town. I came up empty-handed at three out of three stores!  I  went to Office Max for envelopes (not paying ten freaking dollars a box for cheap, store- brand envelopes. SERIOUSLY?!), Petco (was hoping to find some sort of wound wipe I  could use on the B's infection, but no dice), Pier 1 (still hoping to find something I can use  as a pen tray, but didn't find anything I liked. Did find some great notebooks marked down  to half price, though!) So I just went home. Couldn't nap, though, because I had a 3:00 hair  appointment, and because I had to dig through the pool box and take inventory of what  chemicals we have on hand.

Got my haircut and came back home, but I didn't fall asleep, unfortunately.  When Spouse  came home, he got cleaned up and we went to dinner, and then came home and had an  early night, because he had a list for Saturday as long as B's tail.
Saturday morning, we got up and while he went out to get a haircut, I had coffee and got  some stuff that was important to ME to get done--emptied the dish drainer, changed the  mats, washed the dirty dishes in the sink, and completely turned out and cleaned up the  silverware drawer. Then I got cleaned up and we went to Panera for coffee and a bite. We  made out a grocery list, and then got started out on our rounds: Sam's for gas and a car  wash, Wayne's Daughters Nursery in Caledonia (OMG, what a fantastic place!) for garden  plants, and then we stopped for a visit with one of Spouse's co-workers who lives out that  way. Next stop--the veteran's cemetery, where I decorated Papa's niche and we paid our  respects. After that, we headed to Racine: Walmart, for dog food. Festival, for groceries. A  lunch stop at Georgie Porgie's for a burger. Came home and emptied everything out of the  car & put it away. Made macaroni salad and sun tea, then went out and helped Spouse mow  and trim in the yard. And all that only brings us up to 2:30. Spouse ran to pick up a bag of  potting soil for me, and we showered and rested after all that. Then Spouse grilled brats and  corn to go with the macaroni salad for dinner. Did dishes and some laundry after dinner,  had some strawberries and pound cake for dessert, and then hit the rack, because we were  both freakin' exhausted.
Sunday morning looked dismal, but Spouse and I made some suasage, egg and cheese  breakfast sandwiches on plain bagels, then he cleaned up the kitchen, and I slipped into  some ratty shorts and a teeshirt and went out to do some gardening. It was sprinkling some,  but I didn't let that stop me.

Since we went to the nursery, I opted to do my own planters instead of buying them pre- planted. I had thought I had some hanging baskets to plant in, so I bought a whole flat of  marigolds--no baskets. Poop. But I got the big planters cleaned out and replanted, and did a  couple smaller ones I'd bought at the nursery. Weeded, re-mulched, dragged the gee-gaws up  out of the basement, arranged things the way I liked, and by then, I'd been at it for a couple  of hours, and couldn't go much further. So I came in and got cleaned up, then we ran over  to Lowe's. I wanted hanger pots for my flat of marigolds, and Spouse bought a vacuum  cleaner for Niece, who just signed a lease on a house. Huh. Godfathers. 

Well, they had pre-planted (pink) vinca and (white) geranium baskets for 5 bucks each.  Given the price of empty pots--that was like getting the dirt and the flowers for free! So I  bought those for the fence hangers, and got a large, rectangular planter for the marigolds.  Should have gotten more, it turns out--after planting 8 goldies between 4 different dish- garden pots,  and another 17 in the rectangular planter--I still had two dozen left to plant!!  (what on earth posessed me to buy an entire flat?!)

So after we had checked out at Lowe's (and Spouse got his veteran's discount), I ran in to  Walgreens to get some cotton balls--and the birdbath I wanted, since it was 25% off--and we  went back home. I headed out to the garden again, and he did some of the prep for making  Italian Beef. It was still raining lightly, on and off, but I wanted to keep going on the flowers. I potted up the new planter and decided it would be best on the front porch, and I got all  my pots hung up. All in all, I probably put in a good five hours in the garden. By then, the  rain had gotten heavier. I called it a day outside and moved inside to finish the laundry and  have a nap. 

Spouse talked on the phone with Auntie for a while, then got me up with the exciting news  that we had DUCKS swimming in the water on top of the pool cover! A mallard drake and  his hen, making themselves quite at home! He said it made him feel like Tony Soprano. They  stayed quite a while, but eventually B had to go out, and they took off towards Lincoln Park  and the lagoon.

For dinner, Spouse made his pressure cooker Italian beef, and we had bombers and tater  tots for supper. Seriously, that man makes the best beefs.  After he'd gone to bed, I had a  brain-wave, and remembered where I had stashed four smallish flowerpots my mom had  given me once, so I dug them out for morning.
I don't know why, but neither one of us slept well Sunday night--and we were both pretty  grumpy Monday morning. I had a toasted bagel, he had oatmeal and toast, and we threw on  our grubbies to get to work outside--again. I filled those four pots--they only held about  three each. So I am down to only a dozen that need homes!! And we set up the pump and  hoses to pump out the pool. I put the finishing touches on my corner garden, and put up  the fence to keep B out of it. Spouse decided to get out his welding gloves & loppers, and  tackle the rambler rose. It needed to be cut completely back to the quick so it can re-start.  we sat outside for a while and had a glass of tea, then it started to pour, so we covered the  pump and ran for the house.

Spouse had decided he needed to get some more shorts, and a new belt. So we showered  and dressed and ran out to the mall (WHAT A ZOO!!) to CMXL. He ended up with two  pairs of shorts, a couple new tees, and a pair of belts, in brown and black. They scammed us  with one of those coupons that give $20 off if you spend a hundred, but they don't count  for pretty much everything you planned to buy.  It was still a good deal, because everything  was on sale, and further reduced if you bought two, which he was doing anyway.  I popped  in to Lane Bryant to look at swimsuits, but the ones they had were awful. Nothing you could  actually swim in, at all.  And I hit the blowout sale at Wilson's Leather, scoring a gorgeous  tote and a very practical crossbody bag for just $55.00. Both will be perfect for Vegas.

I figured we were done, and headed home--but Spouse decided I needed to stop at  Catherine's and look for a suit. Glad he did! And glad the other lady who was shopping the  swimwear rack spotted and handed me the one tank suit they had in my size! It fit, it's  perfect for actual swimming, and it was half off. It is even kind of pretty. 

We went home then, both feeling like we had scored really well, and by then the sun was out  and we could get back to draining the cover off. I was desperately tired, and wanted to nap,  but he kept insisting he was going to need my help in just a little while, so I decided to keep  busy in the house till he needed me. 

Well, when I went to take the leftover beef downstairs and put it into the freezer--whammo.  A very bad fall. I got banged up and twisted up from ankles to skull, and ended up with one  leg wedged underneath the treadmill!  When I finally got the point across to him that I  needed him to come help me--he came down, looked at me, said he couldn't move me,  ASKED ABOUT THE DAMNED ITALIAN BEEF, and once assured that it was fine--he  went back upstairs and outside.  

Leaving me, battered and bruised, on the cold concrete floor. 

I know why. Most of the time, he works very hard at being a thoughtful and considerate  husband.  But if you throw a crisis at him...he reverts to the learned behavior he picked up  from his narcissist mother. The fleas break out, BIG-time.  

I know what was going through his head. And it wasn't much to do with me, really--he was  considering what outcome a potentially serious fall would have on his plans, his pocketbook,  his vacation, his general comfort.  The suspicion that I did it on purpose--that I did it to  HIM.

And being the child of an NPD myself, I can see this, and understand it, and on one level, I  can forgive it.

But on another level...it was me on that basement floor. So it is a little harder to be forgiving.

It took  me about 20 minutes to extricate myself, and scooch my way over to the stairs.  Once I had pulled myself up on my feet, I took inventory. Right hip, displaced. Right knee,  very banged up on the inner side. Left elbow and forearm, banged, bruised, and a small cut. lump on the back of my head.  Left ankle twisted. Lower back slightly strained. Nothing  broken, but a lot of soft tissue took a hit. I don't think I tore my meniscus again, but I am  not sure of that yet.  

Today, about in 75% of possible positions for my leg, it doesn't really hurt at all.

The other 25%?  Are excruciating. Driving has its moments, and getting in and out of bed,  the car, a chair...not fun. We'll just have to see how it plays out. I'm not going to spend a  small fortune for the usual outcome--"After running up you bill as far as we can, there is  nothing we can do for you--and since you are a hysterical woman, you probably are  exaggerating your pain so we'll give you drugs. So we're just going to blow you off--pay on  your way out."

But anyway--I managed to get upstairs, but I wasn't good for much after that. Fortunately, it  was leftovers night. We ate the remaining brats and macaroni salad, with a tossed salad. Easy  prep and no mess to speak of.  Since Tuesday was back to work day, Spouse went to bed  early, and although I stayed in the recliner, I confess that I dozed right off from a  combination of exhaustion and the shock wearing off. I got up at bedtime, took some  aspirin, and very gingerly transferred myself to the bed. Slept poorly, though. Every time I  tried to reposition myself,  it made my knee go off like a fire alarm.

There. A genuine update--for a 3-day weekend, no less.




Reading:
Amy in Acadia; A Story for Girls (1905), by Helen Leah Reed
Peripheral characters from the Brenda Barlow series travel through Nova Scotia, soaking in  lots of history, making friends, and having tame adventures.

Listening:
Cage the Elephant, Paul Simon, U2, Vance Joy

recede - proceed

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