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they grow up so fast
April 22, 2015
Talked to my dad, and he threw me a sucker punch--he is getting into online dating. (Something called "Our Time".)
Yeah.
I really want him to be happy.
But I don't want him to be foolish. (And I love him, so I worry about him.)
Oh, I do understand why. He is a very social, extroverted guy who needs to be with other people. He needs it like he needs food and air. It sustains him.
But it hurts a little, too. Mom has only been gone for nine months. And this kind of thing was something that worried and distressed her. (I believe the exact quote was "He can't wait till I'm in the ground and he can spend 'my' money on other women!")
On the upside, though--he's being very upfront with his kids about it, which is awesome and very unlike my dad, really. That's a big move for him to be enough in touch with his feelings and needs to even address the issue, and an even bigger one for him to share that with us.
So there is that to deal with. We will have a good heart-to-heart about it this weekend; I'm going down there. It's my weekend to help him with clearing out the house. (And play tech support.)
Well, the UP tracker is helping motivate me to move a bit more, which is why I bought it, but I'm already having moments where it feels like a ball-and-chain or a nag. I think it's helping me be mindful of sleep, though, and that is a big reason I like it.
I just wish I wasn't so played out by the time I get home from work--I want to sew, but my energy level is so low that it's all I can do to get dinner on and cleaned up and the chores dealt with and things set up for morning. It makes such a huge difference when we do it together versus when I do it all by myself. With him dealing with some serious back pain this week, it puts everything on me. And since I am going to Dad's this weekend, I will not have any weekend time to do either my housework or have any fun or "me" time. Makes me grumpy just thinking about it. Ugh.
At least I won't have to worry about getting exercise at Dad's--hauling shit out of the basement is one hell of a good workout.
Reading:
Getting ready to read: I found the "Brenda Books", an early 1900s series by Helen Leah Reed. Well I found five of the six, anyway. Nobody has put the second book online, and a hard copy is expensive because of the Jessie Willcox Smith illustrations.
Listening:
Lots of B52s and Green Day lately--something about that stuff that gets me pumped.
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