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Fudge?
November 25, 2014

Disclaimer: Consider this long and disjointed ramble to be "diary therapy". Read at your own risk.

For the first time in the 31 years I've known him, he wants me to make him fudge. I haven't made fudge more than a couple of times in my entire life, and certainly not since I was in high school. And there's a reason for that.

Because I loathe it. To me, it's one of those awful things grandmas would make, that taught you how very awful the Great Depression really was, if that's what passed for candy. I think it's disgusting, and the mere thought of it gives me the shudders. The only real use I have for that word is in reference to a sauce for topping ice cream.

And...now he's decided he wants some. Never underestimate Spouse's capacity to spring shit on me completely out of left field.

So I went looking for a recipe. And I am hoping the one I found is as easy and foolproof as it claims. It has none of that "cook till the mixture reaches the soft ball stage" nonsense--it is more like the description I read once of people melting down leftover chocolate cream Easter eggs and making a creamy fudge out of them. Butter, sweetened condensed milk, semi-sweet and milk-chocolate chips, and a little vanilla in a saucepan or double-boiler, melt and stir till well blended, pour off into a foil-lined, buttered pan, and chill to set. That seems like something I could handle.

Actually, it sounds like something HE could handle--it isn't really any more complicated than the peanut clusters we made, and he handled that just fine.

But he won't. Long experience of reading his moods has taught me that this one is one he wants me to do. In fact, I think he was a little surprised that I didn't just come straight home from the grocery store after work last night and make it immediately!

But I was kind of beat last night, by the time I got home. The weather turned to shit yesterday, and we had our patented blend of plummeting temps, rising winds, and rain turning to ice and snow. By the time I'd chipped my car out, thawed it out with the comically inadequate heater/defroster, driven home on slick roads with a vicious cross-wind, slid around in the grocery store parking lot with wet and freezing feet, and finally worked my way to the house...I didn't have enough energy left to do much of anything. Dinner was a pick-up meal--I made salads, and then it was a choice of leftovers. I had a piece of chicken, but Spouse decided he was going in a different direction, and made himself oatmeal and toast. Fine with me! I pre-warmed the bed, and hit the hay about 8:30.

So I don't know when I'll make the fudge. Maybe tonight. But if not, it won't be till at least Saturday--tomorrow night it's pies, Thursday is dinner, Friday is fruitcake, so I'm all booked up.

Not that I will be given much opportunity on Thursday; Spouse will be in command all the way, and I'll be relegated to things like stirring the gravy or decanting the cranberry sauce. He has a very traditional meal planned--roasted turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, sweet potatoes (America's Test Kitchen-style mashed), carrot coins, peas in butter sauce, crescent rolls, and cranberry sauce. Pumpkin pie or chocolate cream pie for dessert.

When it comes to cooking a Thanksgiving dinner, Spouse is not big on experimenting or improvising; he may try new things if we go out, but what makes him happiest is a meal like his mom would have made. She pulled out all the stops for Thanksgiving, but she was such an unaccomplished cook that "all the stops" meant frozen (boil-in-bag) vegetables instead of canned, and dinner rolls in a tube. He is a far better cook, so he has always made the best stuffing, juiciest, most golden-brown turkey, and the fluffiest, most buttery mashed potatoes.

His biggest experiment in connection with this dinner is going to be using the mandoline to slice the sweet potatoes and carrots. Since he's never used one before, I'm just hoping we don't have a blood bath! I tried to get him to buy a good one at BB&B the other day, but he's unwilling to commit until he's tried using one, so he'll just dig out my old, inexpensive one and use that. I hope he fares better than I do with it. Every time (twice) I've used it, I've managed to cut myself pretty nastily. And personally, I've always felt that if you are only cooking for two, and have good knife skills, your kitchen doesn't need a lot of crap that takes up space and requires washing up.

I'm getting "the dreads", anyway. That feeling I get where every activity sounds like an exhausting ordeal. I know from experience that it will be "all right on the night", so to speak. But my twit of a brain wants me to feel overwhelmed and knackered, apparently, so every time I start thinking about fruitcakes or cookie-baking or any other substantial project, I just want to go take a nap. What idiot decided to stick a strenuous holiday season smack in the middle of hibernation season, anyway?

One thing I DID manage to get done yesterday was to mail off a "get well" card to Auntie. And (better late than never) a Thanksgiving card, as well. It had slipped my mind last week, so she probably won't get it before the holiday. But one thing is certain--when she has a high opinion of you, you work hard to keep it that way. And one of the things she expects is a card on birthdays, holidays, or other occasions. It's forgivable to be a little late, but not to blow it off entirely. And just because my Dad is there, doesn't mean I'm off the hook. In fact, it's going to be like it was back when Uncle was alive--I'm going to have to send a boatload of treats out there this year!

And speaking of treats, I really need to come up with a game plan for cookies & candies. Nestle brought back the sheets of pre-rolled sugar cookie dough--HALLELUJAH!--so cut-outs will be simple. Pfeffernusse is a given, so are Spritz. Peppermints, fudge, and more peanut clusters, and maybe some almond or peppermint bark. I'd like to do peanut brittle if I have time. Peanut Butter Kisses are quick and easy, so I can do those. And I really want to make homemade caramels, but they are a LOT of work, I know. Plus Spouse will want M&M cookies, I'm sure.
So that's cookies:
Pfef
Spritz
Kisses
M&M
Sugar cookie cutouts


Candy:
Peanut clusters
Fudge
Peppermints
Almond bark
Peanut Brittle (maybe)
Caramels (maybe)


And just typing all that made me feel like I need a nap! So here's what we will forego: I don't have to make pepparkakor--those were just for mom. No pepparkakor and THREE fruitcakes means I won't have leftover fruit and dough, so no fruitcake pinwheels. Skipping the chocolate chip, unless somebody throws a fit for them. Can't get the right chips or decors, so no Lemon Lightshow, or raspberry-chocolate oatmeal for W & T. Of course, there's no telling what curveballs Spouse will launch at me next, so nothing is written in stone.

Well, my fan experiment seems to be working. It blows the co-worker stink back towards her, increases the general air quality in my cube, and as an added benefit, the white noise is very calming. I have been having some vicious headaches at work lately, and I think the hairpsray was contributing substantially to that.

I also need to figure out what to do about my glasses, though--they're a big part of the problem, and I don't know if I need a new prescription, or just need to get my frames re-aligned. They were bothering me so bad that I'm actually wearing my old pair right now, because they bother me less. (I always did like them better, anyway!)





Reading: The "Miss Billy" trilogy, by Eleanor H. Porter, and "Busman's Honeymoon", by Dorothy L. Sayers.

Listening: nothing of note

At Random: click here

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