gastro
10-15-14 ,

So I went for my preliminary consult with the gastroenterologist yesterday. No big thing. although, like a moron, I left all the paperwork I'd filled out so carefully sitting on the china cabinet at home. And didn't remember until I'd worked till 10:30 and headed up the highway for my appointment, which meant I had a scant half-hour to get all the way into town, grab the papers, and fight my way back across town to the hospital.

In mid-day traffic.

In a construction zone.

Through some creative routing and thoroughly ruthless driving, I managed to get there less than 5 minutes late, and because I had my paperwork completed, I actually came out ahead.

So. Met the nurse, who took my blood pressure. Met the PA, who listened to my heart and lungs, and explained colonoscopy for me (that was cute). Finally met the doctor--a nice Russian, who looks like he's maybe about 40. Very little accent, as he came to the USA when he was a kid. Supposed to be quite a celebrated G-E, so I guess I'm "lucky". He agreed with my GP that my history warranted an upper endoscopy, so I will be getting both.

And I will be getting them this coming Monday. I was not figuring on doing it so soon, but he had availability, and it will be easier to manage all the preparation over the weekend.

Speaking of which...ugh. Every time I go to the G-E, it's a new system. This one is multi-stage: effective immediately as of scheduling, I am forbidden peas, corn, popcorn, and legumes. (I am, however, allowed to keep taking my naproxen, right up through Sunday morning. This is a recent change, so I lucked out.)

Starting Friday, I am to do a "low-residue diet". Which sounds soft and bland and boring. Sunday will be clear liquids, and come 4:00 pm, I start the "prep" in earnest.

This time it's something called MoviPrep. I get a kit from the pharmacy with a plastic container and four pouches of powder. I mix up one of pouch A and one of pouch B with a quart of water, and drink 8 oz. every 15 minutes for the next hour. Once I dring the final 8 oz. of solution, I have to drink 16 ounces of the clear liquid of my choice (provided my choice isn't red, blue, or purple) Yes, that's a quart and a half of liquid.

Then we wait for the fun to begin. And when 7:00 rolls around, I do the whole thing again. At this point, I will be camped on the potty, I've no doubt. Because it's pretty much poop till you can't poop anymore. And then poop some more, anyway.

Oh, and also, I was sent a link to four CBL modules to watch: Patient Safety, Anesthesia, EGD, and Colonoscopy. Watched them last night, major snore, nothing I didn't already know, and a tone that was supposed to be reassuring but seemed dreadfully condescending to somebody with my particular background.