that�s two down�
April 28th, 2014

Got the oldest Nephew married off this weekend. We had to keep things pretty tight, since I didn�t take any time off this time, and Spouse started his�GASP�new job this morning.

The hotel was nice. Full of my relatives, but nice.

We stayed in a quite new, very nice, completely smoke-free Hampton Inn, next to the very smoky-stinky hotel (attached to a casino) where the wedding party was staying. Very comfortable, and the lovely service I always appreciate at a Hilton-owned hotel. They couldn�t have been more charming and gracious when we requested an extra-early check-in so we could get ready for the 3:00 PM wedding. (That isn�t a plug�just sheer gratitude on my part for how much easier they made my weekend!)

But I�m getting ahead of myself. I got home from work on Friday and got right to work finishing the laundry. Spouse had done up nearly everything, (bless his heart!), but he doesn�t touch my underthings or work clothes, so I just had the one �delicates� load to do. And we dropped off the B at the vet for boarding, ran to the Festival to get some stuff for dinner, and then went home. Where I put away the shopping, chunked up the watermelon I�d bought, finished the wash, get the packing sorted out and done, and had a rest for a while. We ate early, around 5:30, having burgers and sweet corn on the grill, with deli potato salad and coleslaw, and the watermelon for dessert. Easy and low-mess. Cleaned up and had an easy evening, knowing how long Saturday was going to be.

I got up about 5:45 on Saturday; would have slept later if not for Spouse getting up and banging around. But since I was up early, I figured I would enjoy the luxury of a slow wake-up. Coffee, cinnamon roll, lounging in my nigh

tgown for a while�well, my mom called before 6:30, wanting to know where we were!! Well, I told her. Sitting in the living room in our jammies, drinking coffee. THAT made her mildly freak out. After I explained that we were not yet on the road because it�s a 3-hour drive at most, and we couldn�t get into the hotel to change before 11 at the earliest�why in the world would we leave before 8?�she reluctantly conceded that we were right.

I think she was just absolutely hag-ridden by the thought that we weren�t going to be there, because she kept that sh!t up right up to the point where we walked into the church vestibule at 2:30. We left at 7:30, stopped to fill the tank, and were on our way. At 9:24, she had my dad calling my cell to see where we were, (I missed that call) and again, 20 minutes later. That one I took. We were nearly to Clinton by that point, but I just told him we�d passed Rockford and wasn�t any more specific than that, because we had a stop to make and if they figured we were 20 minutes away, they would expect us in 15.

Well, when we got to Clinton, Spouse wanted to stop at Smokin� Joe�s for some cigars, so I looked up the address and got directions. Once he�d done that, we headed over to the hotel and checked in�it was about 11. After we dumped the luggage in the room, I texted Dad, got their room number, and found out it was just down the hall, so I left Spouse behind squared my shoulders, took a deep breath�and went down there.

Good thing I did, too, because I ended up dressing Mom, then dressing Dad, and even my niece popped in to get her dress zipped. By the time I was done getting them ready, it was time to go get myself ready. Good thing I can do it in no time, without any assistance.

Then, as I was putting my dress on, Dad called, again. Mom was having a grand-mal hissyfit because she was absolutely certain we weren�t going to make it to the church unless Daddy gave us directions. So, in the interests of cooling her jets, I let him rattle off a complicated and completely confusing bunch of left and right turns. And after he hung up, I asked the desk clerk�who said to �turn right when we exited the parkway, go about five miles on that road, and the church would be on the right as we came over the hill�. (I might have known�if there is a convoluted back way to anywhere, that�s the one my dad will take.)

The wedding was lovely, the bride and groom gorgeous and sweet, and the reception was a mob scene, 25 miles past the middle of nowhere in a little no-horse town, at a place my youngest nephew described as �A hole in the wall with a banquet hall.� But it turned out to be a very nice banquet hall, and the food was fantastic. Unfortunately for me and Spouse--the turnout was HUGE. I am talking 600 people was the official count for the buffet line--and not everyone ate!

It was a monstrous crush. My nephew is an extremely popular teacher and coach, his new wife knows everyone in town and (in addition to being a successful accountant) is a popular fitness instructor. So there were BUS-loads of young people pouring in. I spent most of my time looking after Mom, but I got to go outside and have a little visit with my brothers. I had to put up with it being their smoke break, but at least I got a few minutes with them.

We cut out about the time the dancing was starting, because we wanted to head back through the boondocks to Clinton before total darkness.

We stopped at the Kwik Trip for something to drink, headed to the hotel and took a quick 10-minute soak in the hot tub, and then got ready for bed. We were pretty tired out from a very long day.

And just as we were getting ready to nod off...

BAMBAMBAM at the door. Scared the crap out of us.

It was my mom. All wound up like an eight-day clock, because she couldn't get out of her dress by herself, and Dad was "no goddam good at all".

So off I go, parading down the hotel hallway in nothing but a little cotton nightie, to my parents' room, to get her out of her dress.

And if you have ever tried to undress a 2-year-old in the middle of a tantrum, you will have some idea of what it was like to get her out of that thing.

If it hadn't been so awful, it would probably have been hilarious. At one point, I nearly had her out of it, and she managed to twist and squirm her way right back in! But I managed to get her out, and calmed down, and buttoned into her jammies, to the gratitude of my dad, if not her.

After that, I basically fell into bed and was out cold. Spouse, on the other hand, who didn't have to lift a finger or process all the sturm & drang of the situation, was up all night sleepless.

So we get up and dressed in the morning, and partake of the comlimentary breakfast. As we finish, eating, my phone goes off--it's the parents. Where are you what are you doing are you going to breakfast blah blah blah. I popped back up to their room, and just caught my dad and niece going to pick up her car where she left it at the church. So I stayed with Mom while they did their errand. Then Spouse and I checked out, loaded the car, and ran next door to check out the casino. Boy, did it stink. And I am not just talking about how tight the slots were (very!). I mean it smelled horrible. It was like being inside a two-day-old cigar butt. We played for a few minutes, but as Spouse said, I had to get out of there before I had to reset my quit gadget!

We got away from the worst of it by going to the buffet for the family breakfast the happy couple was hosting. Got to say a proper goodbye to most of them, hug the bride and groom one more time, kiss my youngest nephew happy birthday (he turned 23 on Sunday), and such. Then we booked for home.

Stopped in Rockford for some groceries and a pee break, got home about 1:30, and immediately stowed the groceries, unpacked, put the suitcase away, and started a load of wash, then we both took a much needed nap. Woke up, had soup and a sandwich for dinner, and finished my wash, then did my set-up for morning and relaxed the rest of the evening.

Got up this morning and then got him up, as he started at his new job. He picked up B after work, and we all got home at the same time. VERY happy dog. Spouse and I joined forces to throw an easy dinner on the table--made some country-style BBQ ribs in the oven, baked some potatoes, and tossed a salad together. And I threw another load in the wash, because the LAUNDRY. NEVER. STOPS.