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self-mutilation
April 17, 2014

Good news from next door--the neighbor is out of the hospital and back on her feet, after three days on life support in critical condition. Her house is unlivable for several months though, so she and the dogs will be living with one of her daughters for a while. (I know it is uncharitable of me, but I kind of hope they're gone all summer--my backyard will be a lot more pleasant without her smoking and the dogs barking.)


Spouse had his drug test yesterday for the job, so I am hoping he will start soon. It is a little exciting, I admit--but it is really hard to get worked up abut after all these years and fresh starts.
I am not to be trusted with my own safety. Last Saturday, I managed to mangle my left big toe. And it just got to the point where I could actually take a walk without pain, when I proceeded to mangle my left index finger last night. I slashed it wide open on the lid of a tomato sauce can, and damn! Pain, blood (oh, good grief--the blood!), and in a spot that is going to take nearly the maximum of abuse, so I keep popping it open. I am not 100% sure I don't need a stitch or two. I have it bandaged and I have a protective tape layer over the bandage, but I think I need to pad it more.

And then there is the troubling fact that ever since I got my new crown, I keep taking huge bites of my own tongue. At this point, I have a 2mm, lumpy wound in the side of it, and another, smaller one underneath. Yowch. I am beginning to think that maybe the new tooth doesn't line up exactly as it should.
I had a rotten day in general yesterday. Starting with no coffee because I had a biometric screening at 7:20, and I cannot do black coffee. Car door froze up for the second day in a row and I had to take a hammer and tap the latch loose. Twice. (This effing weather is a whole OTHER rant!) And even though I was running late after scraping off the frost and tapping loose the door latch, I had to stop on the way to work and pick up stuff for a frigging food day at work. Time and money I didn't have for people I don't like, but niceties must be observed.

Once at work, I managed space out over a spreadsheet and miss the first half-hour of a division-wide staff meeting (boss was a little cheesed). No excuse, really. Just spazzed out and forgot. Then I tried to retrieve some documents off of one of my drives, only to find that it was inexplicably gone, with a totally incorrect one in its place. Tech Support was, naturally, completely stumped, and referred me to Network Services. Who recognized the probelm--but said they couldn't fix it because it was a security problem. They referred it to the Security Team...or, as we like to call it, "threw it into a black hole". Still no response there.

Then got a whole bunch more of somebody else's testing crap to deal with. I will never understand how they could take away my beloved position as technical analyst and software tester, and then proceed to spend the NEXT EIGHT YEARS (AND COUNTING) making me spend the majority of my time doing testing. EVERYbody's testing. Well, current position notwithstanding, I am the only experienced software tester in the whole company.

Pretty much a shitty day all around. In fact, the only thing that went well was my screening. The only things that weren't in the normal range were my BMI (natch) and my triglycerides--which were ridiculously high because of the thyroid tanking on me again. They also dinged me on not moving and stretching more, but let's face it--dinging us is their job. They are always going to find something. So in spite of almost everything improving over last year--I still had my "wellness score" go down a point. Whatevs. At least it only took a half-hour, and is worth $400 in health insurance premium reductions.

Oh, and I requested and got a vacation day for Friday. Spouse and I are going to the city for Polish delicacies. Our secular Easter: I am into Easter baskets, he is into a traditional Polish feast. The resurrection? Not so much.

When I got home, I thought things would improve. They did, but sadly, they didn't turn completely around. I thought I would fight the stress-fatigue and turn things around with a long walk, so I leashed up the B and we had a nice walk in the late afternoon sunshine and the brisk spring air. Then I came home and tried to cut my finger off. That was actually bad enough to give me a bit of a shock reaction after we got it cleaned up and bandaged, so I was feeling pretty shakey through dinner.

I would like to watch my recording of Mad Men, but I have been so tired after work and my eyes have been so fatigued that I have hardly been able to look at the TV. Even my reading has slowed down, because my eyes are twitchy. I was just glad to go to my comfy bed at the end of the day. Maybe I will catch it tomorrow night.

Reading: Just starting �A Court Of Inquiry� (original pub. Date 1901), by Grace S. Richmond. The publisher�s blurb from the 1916 Doubleday, Page & Co. edition:
�This is a charming story of a group of girl and men friends and the effect of their pairing off upon the narrator and her "Philosopher." Althea, Azalea, Camellia, Dahlia, Hepatica--and their several entanglements with the Promoter, the Cashier, the Skeptic, the Judge and the Professor, form an admirable background of diverse personalities against which grows the main love story. One sees these charming groups through the eyes of the one who tells the tale--and very shrewd and delightful eyes they are, seeing life in its true perspective with much real philosophy and true feeling. Mrs. Richmond has never written anything more fresh and human and entertaining.�
So I have no idea what this is going to be about, really--other than a romance. We shall see. Oh, in the "Today I Learned" department--I learned there is a flower called Althea.

Listening: Joy Division/New Order, Interpol, The Church, The Clash, Echo & the Bunnymen, The Cure


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