rhymes with rhyme














navigation
current
archives
links page
profile















wedding. part one of three.
February 10, 2014

My organic jasmine green tea has such a lovely aroma of springtime...green notes, florals, and you can almost smell the sunshine and warm breezes. I need that today. It's 20 below wind chill again.

Made it through wedding weekend number one. It went pretty well, but it was exhuasting. Which baffled Spouse. He figured that staying in a nice hotel, swimming, hot-tubbing, and dining out well would be restful and I would benefit from the trip.

But he doesn't get it. He still, after all these years, doesn't seem to get me.� Being around my family is hard for me, extended family is even worse, putting on a gracious and loving face to them all is harder still...And then? I have to deal with my husband being a total antisocial dick, on top of it.

Plus! The added fun of the menopausal roller-coaster! My body decided to throw that into the mix this weekend. Energy sapping, stomach churning, mood wrecking, emotionally draining, physically painful, messy, time-consuming, and friggin' exhausting.

It wasn't horrible, I guess. I showed up when I was told to, where I was told to. I dutifully chatted with aunts, uncles, parents, nieces, nephews, in-laws, acquaintances and strangers.� I ate. All of that went fine.

But here's what did me in: I tried very diligently to pay attention to my husband and include him in things, because he told me beforehand that he didn't want me to ignore him...only to have him rebuff me and go sulk in corners anyway.

Once I get done with this next next wedding, none of my relatives will ever see Spouse again, because I have HAD. IT. (I may even figure out an excuse for him to miss that one.)� What should have been an occasion for me to be happy for my nephew was turned into a wretched misery by Spouse. I can't make any headway in trying to maintain a civil relationship with my family if he's around, and I really want to, for my parents' sake, for the niece and nephews--and for ME. I don't know why he does this, but it makes me crazy and sad, and I'm sick of it. I don't even want him at my mom's funeral if he's going to be his usual high-maintenance attention hog dick self.

It isn't even the dickiness that gets so tiring--it's the stupid rigamarole he goes through to make sure I am not ever, ever enjoying myself.� For instance: he makes me choose a restaurant--just so he knows where I want to go and doesn't pick that by mistake. Because as soon as I pick a place, BAM. He's got somewhere else for us to go. He never lets me get too used to anything, because he likes to keep me off balance. I can't even go to the grocery store I want to. EVEN WHEN IT IS WHERE HE WANTS TO GO. He will absolutely go to a store he doesn't like, just because I DON'T WANT TO GO THERE.

I've tried to explain it to him, but he doesn't admit doing it and says I'm nuts--another thing that I don't particularly appreciate, actually.

Well, end of rant, change of subject.

The wedding was actually very sweet and loving and informal. Nice venue--the almost-new community center in my SIL's hometown.� The kids had something called a "unity cross", which I had never heard of but I guess it's the rage. At least among the faithfu, anyway. The preacher was a family connection, I guess--a relation of a relation on my SIL's side. A little too godbaggish for me, but it doesn't take much, really. The food was good--cold sandwiches, plus tacos (beef or fish) with all the trimmings and a sort of Mexican casserole thing. The cake was one small pink cake for the cutting, and various flavors of cupcakes for the guests to eat.� And they had a "candy bar", like they did when my niece got married, with assorted sweets.

The guest book was not a book--it was a bunch of tumbled river stones that you signed with a paint pen and put into a jar. And they had a "remembrance" ceremony for all those no longer with us. Since my SIL is practically a practicing member of the cult of the dead, that wasn't surprising. I was fully expecting to see a table reserved for the departed!

And instead of the usual "dollar dance" (which I hate), they had a contest where whoever collected the most money got to smash cake in the other one's face. The bride beat the groom by about three-to-one, so he got a mush full of pink icing. And then his mother, his sister, and the maid-of-honor nailed him, too! A waste of cake, if you ask me. But nobody ever asks me. I played no favorites--I tore a 20 into two pieces and dropped half in each container.�

There was a whiff of the "Big Fat Redneck Wedding" about the whole affair, but only a fairly mild one. They had their wedding, their way, on the cheap and informal side, as they wanted it. Therefore I am pleased. I can't say much, anyway.� After all, the bartender at my wedding mooned my grandmother!

Auntie in Phoenix repeatedly requested "a lot of pictures" so I have about 75 of them I'm going through to create a movie slideshow with captions for the AZ relatives to watch. One of those geeky projects that will drive me crazy, but make it easy for them. If it was up to me, I'd dump the whole file on a CD or a thumb drive and drop it in the mail. But when has it ever been up to me?

recede - proceed

hosted by DiaryLand.com