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love that bob
September 04, 2013
I have felt so weird all day. Like--on the surface, I'm not depressed. But I can't shake the feeling that it is following me around, lurking just below the surface. I don't know. It just feels strange. Maybe I am tired. I am, a little, I know. I took my last muscle relaxant before bed last night in order to ensure a good night's sleep, having worked my muscles into one huge knot by doing yard work. That can leave me feeling a little blah the next day, so it might be that. But the thing that is irritating me is that I feel like there are serious thoughts I need to be thinking and there is a force in my brain that is shoving them away into the shadows of my consciousness. I can't grab hold of them.
I had to laugh Monday, when we got home from running errands, Spouse went into the kitchen and did his marinade for the Tacos el Pastor, and I changed my shoes and went out to push the mower and wield the weedwhacker. Way to set gender stereotypes on their ear, eh? I just wish I loved to mow the way he loves to cook. It isn't that he isn't being productive and helpful, it is the fact that he only wants to do the things he enjoys. Unfortunately, that leaves a lot of necessary tasks undone. It isn't like I enjoy yardwork goodness knows. Well, at least he brought me out a cold drink while I was working. And the tacos were fantastic.
He knows that I won't take on the back yard single-handed, though. I have made it clear that we can do it together, or he can do it alone, but I will not be doing it solo. And he can't just blow it off, either. It WILL get done.
He actually told me I need to be more insistent when I remind him that stuff needs to be done, but that is really hard for me. If you know it needs to be done, why does somebody have to come along and tell you to do it? (I don't have to have somebody walk up, point to the basket, and tell me "go do the laundry" every damned week, for pete's sake!.) And even if you do need that--why is it MY job? It isn't like Spouse jumps when I snap my fingers, anyway--anything but. Wife is being a witch = Free pass to blow off anything she wants or says.
Who knows. Maybe that's what I'm doing wrong...I am failing to provide him with a clear and compelling reason to ignore me. It isn't enough that I spoil him rotten. I must create an environment in which he can be spoiled rotten, and yet remain totally free of any guilt and feel entirely justified in that state of affairs.
Why am I bitching, anyway? We both jumped on it tonight when I got home and had the back cut and trimmed within 40 minutes. And made dinner, cleaned up the mess, washed a load of clothes, and got everything set up for morning by 7:00 p.m. WHY, you ask? Well�
Extraordinary circumstances compelled me to do something last night that I simply NEVER do--I tuned in and watched 2 straight hours of network, broadcast TV. �Extreme Weight Loss�, yet.
You see, I've known the subject of last night's episode since he was a little kid. Just had a nice visit with him in July. Very proud of Bob; he is an amazing guy.
I don't think much of the TV program, though. And OMG, did I ever get reminded of why I gave it up. Commercials from 8:29 to 8:35. Cut to next commercial at 8:37. TWO FREAKING MINUTES? And the show itself is kind of repulsive. I know that a lot of people like and respect that guy Chris Powell, but what an annoying little twerp he seemed to be. So glad Bob actually seems to have left him in the dust a couple of times.
Reading: Somewhat stalled in my progress right now; I haven't really had time to read. Well, I haven't been spending my time reading, anyway. Too many things that need doing.
Listening: Cake, Foster The People, Spoon, The Black Keys, 4 Non-Blondes, The Strokes.
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