but it's a good tired
August 23, 2013, 7:35 P.M.

Just came in from a rousing game of "B" ball. Somebody needs to tell The B that he's a reTRiever, not a reCeiver. He would rather catch the ball than chase it. What a big, lovable goof.

SO. I'm thinking to myself that I need to write a post in order to get all that negativity off my front page, even though I am pretty much talked out, since I had a hair appointment and a therapy session this afternoon. But here goes...

I guess this afternoon was about practicing self-care, because I did an all-out depilatory extravaganza. Cut, waxed, tweezed, snipped, trimmed, and shaved, and I feel like a new woman. Started at the salon, and continued at home after the shrink.

He actually agreed with me, by the way, that the enforced week of nothing but rest was a blessing in disguise. He said I was looking a lot less tired.

Part of that is how insanely much better I feel after losing just 10 pounds, and part is the blessed relief of being (relatively) pain-free after the way I felt week before last, and part is the fact that Spouse is back to being such a supportive and helpful sweetie again. I did have a very bad, dark episode the other day, but by and large I really do seem to be feeling a lot better.

Still fatigued a bit, still finding that I dread having stuff I have to do, like this afternoon's appointments. That may just be a kind of remnant left over from my deep shit days--a kind of habit I got into that I haven't shaken off. Because I certainly felt fine today--I had plenty of energy to get through my errands and appointments and to-do list items. I am tired now, after they are done, but that's a different story. And I still had enough energy to go grab an early fish dinner with Spouse, run a few more errands, and come home to play some backyard ball with the dog. I have been making myself spend more time outside, instead of sitting indoors in the dark all the time.

Another experiment I am trying in my bid to be healthier and happier is to give up candy. I eat too much crap, and I need to get back to a life where candy isn't something you eat every single day. I would like to think that I can enjoy it no more than once a week, and in moderation, but I know it will be a lot of work. I am a sugar junkie of the first water.

Probably will make it an early night tonight, because Spouse has decided he wants to get up early and go hang out at Panera for a while--coffee in one hand, pastry in the other, and his kindle propped up in front of him. I am up for that, since it is supposed to be a beautiful day tomorrow, and there are books to read and coffee to be sipped and Spouse to hang out with. Part of our joint plan to make relaxation a top priority instead of letting it fall to the bottom of the list all the time.