a threat to myself
February 02, 2006, 9:02 P.M.
I could not fall asleep last night, and it was miserable. That's not usually a problem for me--put down the crossword, turn out the light, sleep. But last night, it just didn't happen.
I managed to nod off around 10:45, only to be jolted awake by furious barking in the living room. Once I got my heart re-started, and calmed the dog, the sleepy had flown. So I tried again, and juuust made it around 11:30.
Spouse came home from work at 11:40.
Shit.
Finally at 12:15 I gave myself The Ultimatum. If I was not asleep in the next 15 minutes, I would get up, put on my sweats, and get on my treadmill.
I think I was out cold in 5.
The Ultimatum always works for me, because I know the secret. You absolutely must mean it. You have to get up, shower, dress, exercise, whatever you've told yourself you'd do, if you are still awake after 15 minutes.
And my subconcious knows I'm serious, because I've done it. I once got out of bed at 2:11 in the morning, dressed, and proceeded to vacuum and dust. (I was the only one home at the time, of course.) Because you have to mean it. It has to be a real threat.
(I forgot to remind myself not to wake up at 4:00, though. Dammit.)
Despite the lack of sleep and other circumstances that would tend to indicate a bad mood was in store for me today, I have been in quite a good one today, actually. 'Perky' kind of good, even. Bounce in my step, twinkle in my eye--I even found myself on several occasions to be...outgoing. Hell's bells, Martha! What's that all about?
And weirdly clear-headed, too. I managed to wrap up 2 small projects and make inroads into a third today, and even managed to have a good time doing it. Time flew, too.Yes. This has been a very good day. I'm tired, but I don't feel angry, or cranky, or blue. Just tired. (And a little crampy.)
By the time I got home today, though, I did think I was too pooped to pop.But I managed to hold it together long enough to do a few loads of wash, put together a couple of lovely salads, with lots of greens and vegetables, and a bit of turkey and cheese.
When Spouse called me at work today, mentioned he was going to pick up fast food tacos for his dinner, but when I told him I was having a big salad, he decided he'd rather have that instead of Taco Bell. (SCORE! With his eating habits, I'll take the victories I can get) It isn't any harder to do two than it is to do one, so his is ready and waiting.
I also cleaned up the kitchen, posted this entry, and did some other assorted puttering. Bed early tonight though. I'm pretty sure I'm close to wiped out at this point.
I'm hoping to finish �I�m Not the New Me� tomorrow. Then I have to find some more reading materials. Off to the library, I suppose. I've read all my library books and �I�m Not the New Me� was the last unread item in my bedside stack.I can't believe I'm still trying to find time to finish it. It isn't that long of a book! But my reading schedule is down to like 20 minutes a day. Seriously--I think if I give up smoking, I'll have to give up reading. The smoke break is also the book break.
I really gotta retool my daily grind.
Oh--the cold? Sniffed warm saltwater and inhaled steam as hot as I could stand it, as per my old acting coach's instructions. It still works better than anything I can buy.
GYM REPORT:25 Minutes
1.26 Miles
169 Calories
Seems like I just couldn't get a burn on today--usually like that during "Hell Week". So I just did what I could.
And a confession. I peeked. I know I'm not supposed to weigh in before Monday, but I couldn't resist.
3 pounds. I love the first week of a diet. Shit just falls off.
Reading: Poundy�s Book! �I�m Not the New Me�, by Wendy McClure. Listening: XM, 70s on 7.
Beading: No.
One Year Ago, I was having hand pain. Have I mentioned how much I DON'T miss the hand pain?
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