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May 07, 2018

Sure sign I'm dealing with a bout of anxiety & depression:
I had a chance to take my choice and go either to the Chicago Pen Show in Hoffman Estates, or take the train to downtown Chicago and visit Anderson Pens' new store in the Loop.

I said no to both.

Saying NO to a lot of stuff, lately, in fact. Diet, exercise, social life, books, the internet, and believe me, I very nearly skipped this week's diary entry, too.

As always, when I'm depressed, I tend to push away from the things I enjoy when I'm "normal", so the depression anhedonia doesn't taint them and ruin them for me forever. (Unfortunately, that includes self-care, too.)

I didn't do much this weekend, really. Spouse did the cooking, and I did all the laundry, and a few housekeeping chores. Ran errands. Tended to the dog. Let my gacked up brain have its way with me. Spent time going through the motions. Sunday was a "no shoes, never left the house" day for me.

That's about it.



Reading: "Suzanna Stirs the Fire" (1915), by Emily Calvin Blake. It's weird. The maid character is a precocious, imaginative, deeply sensitive, 8-year-old girl. That seemed cool, but she is weirding me out. My overwhelming reaction to the whole thing so far is that I really feel sorry for her mom, because the poor woman has to deal with a flaky husband, one flaky kid, three other kids, a dead kid, making ends meet on not much, and no hired help. So I'm taking it in very short chunks. With long breaks in between. I don't think my temperment at the moment is right for reading this story. (Well, it isn't right, full stop.)

Listening: The Revivalists, Dan Auerbach, The Pogues, Jackson Browne.

Inked Up:No changes again this week--still the Bexley 10th Anniversary with custom italic nib/R&K Blu Mare, Conklin Duragraph fine nib/Pelikan 4001 Brilliant Brown, Delta Serena broad nib/Iroshizuku Yama-Budo, Pilot Metropolitan fine nib with Pelikan 4001 Turquoise. Well, actually, the Bexley and the Metro aren't inked. They were, but I've written them dry, and haven't cleaned them yet. I'm not doing much with my pens right now.

recede - proceed

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