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insomniac
April 17, 2017

I don't sleep anymore.

At least not on Sunday nights. The premature waking has been getting worse and worse--and last night was horrible: a series of light dozes, lasting from 15 to 40 minutes (most of them were around 20 minutes)--and ending with me jarred awake by stressful thoughts. Hypnosis didn't work, deep breathing didn't work, and even the tried and true method of coaxing B into bed, to sleep lodged firmly against my legs, only bought me that one 40-minute nap.

I'm shaky and exhausted and nervy and fretful and it's a miracle I can even think halfway straight. And last week, after I ended up getting next to no sleep on Sunday AND Monday nights, I was forced to take a sick day. That can't continue to happen, that's for sure.

And I can't make a habit out of taking Benadryl as a sleep-aid, either--even though I ended up doing so a couple of times last week.

It's so frustrating--I do all the things I'm supposed to do, and things get worse instead of better. It seems like all of the "tips and tricks" out there are to get you to sleep. None of them do anything to KEEP you that way, or to help you fall BACK asleep after premature waking.

Here is a list of the stuff I do, to try and ensure a good nigh't sleep:
Avoid alcohol
Avoid caffeinated beverages after 1 or 2 p.m.
Diaphragmatic breathing
Don’t go to bed on a full stomach
Don’t smoke
Don't nap
Don't watch the clock
Exercise
Follow a regular sleep schedule
Hypnosis/Guided Meditation
Limit fluids before bedtime
Progressive relaxation
Reserve bed for sleep
Use a fan or other appliance that produces a steady "white noise”

Not working for shit, any of it.


Weekend went as follows: Friday, I came home, ate lunch, took a nap (Friday is my exception to the "no naps" rule), and got up just in time for Spouse to come rattling in two hours early (they were released early for Good Friday). He had stopped off at the parts store to buy a fix for the Impala's "meltdown of the week"...the gas cap, of all things, suddenly up and died. Causing the idiot light to stay on, and an intermittent DIC message to "tighten gas cap". He bought an OEM replacement, complete with tether, and installed it right away.

We both took showers and got dressed, then went out to dinner at DeRango's. We thought we were being clever, going early to avoid the rush...so did everyone else. But the wait wasn't terrible. We just had sandwiches; I had fish and Spouse had veal parm.

After dinner, we took the car to KwikTrip and put air in the tires, filled the tank, and gave it a wash, since we had plans for Saturday morning that started early.

Then we went home and relaxed a little before bed--I went to bed at my usual time, but didn't sleep too great. Blamed it on the nap--although that never stopped me before.
On Saturday, we got up and running by 7:30, for Spouse's annual run to the northern suburbs for Kosher for Passover Coke. We stoped at Walker Brothers in Glenview, for a lovely breakfast of potato pancakes for him, and their "Venetian Benedict" for me--Poached eggs with fresh sauteed spinach, mushrooms and crisp bits of their insanely good bacon, on a grilled English muffin blanketed with rich hollandaise sauce & a garnish of pico de gallo. And a dish of fresh fruit. YUM.

We went to the same place for Coke that we stopped at the last two years, but unfortunately they didn't have any. The Coke rep was there stocking, so we double-checked with him, and he said Mariano's didn't carry it this year.

No worries--we pulled in at the Jewel up the road, and I left Spouse in the car while I ran in, grabbed 6-2 liter bottles, and came back out to make his day.

Mission accomplished, we stopped at the Costco on the way out of Glenview and tended to some necessary shopping, then headed back to town to stop at the Festival for the rest of the groceries. Once we were home and I got everything carried in and put away (If you can't tell, we are still babying Spouse's blood clot quite a lot.), I did some laundry and made a pan of Rice Krispy Treats for Spouse to have with his morning pill when he's headed out the door. Then I stretched out on my bed to rest my sore ankle (it is still nagging me a bit, even after a week) and using my tablet to order buy a book (Auntie Mame was $1.99 through BookBub), and some new bras from JCP. On sale for 20% off, and I had a $20 coupon, so they ended up being a really good deal. Such a good deal, in fact, that I splurged for the cost of having them shipped to the house, instead of using the free ship-to-store option.

For dinner, I baked a couple of potatoes, made salads, and heated up some honey-bbq wings we got at Costco. Made for a nice, easy dinner. Followed that with fresh strawberries for dessert. And another rather crappy night's sleep for me.
Sunday being Easter, you would have thought we would have plans--but the truth is, we are both so exhausted and used up that we begged off of the family dinner, and had a day where we didn't go anywhere, do anything, or even talk to anyone. I didn't get off the property, or even into shoes. Spouse went no farther than the street, to move his car. And we relaxed. Breakfast was cornflakes & bananas with toasted English muffins, and was followed by not too damned much. We both had new books, so we planted our noses in them for a good read.

Oh, every little bit, my consciencs would prickle me. So when it did, I did some dishes, a little more laundry, some light cleaning, gave the dog some grooming, etc. I really needed a day like that, and I am grateful to Spouse that he let me have it.

We did make a nice dinner--Easter dinner, I guess, although not too fancy. We had baked ham, mashed potatoes, buttered carrots and dinner rolls, followed by more strawberries. A cooperative effort between us, so nobody had to work too hard. And we even took turns staying on top of the prep dishes, so there wasn't a big mess when dinner was over.

After we ate, Spouse went off to read his book some more, and I puttered around on the internet awhile before doing the morning prep and going to the heartache and pain of my sleepless bed.





Reading: "Auntie Mame" (1955), by Patrick Dennis (Edward Everett Tanner III )

Listening: INXS, Squeeze, Counting Crows, R.E.M.

Inked Up: the same again, plus one: I felt so guilty about not giving adequate time to my babies that I got out my Monteverde Artista (M nib), and filled the converter with Pelikan 4001 Pink--which I siphoned out of a cartridge with my syringe. Yeah, well--I wanted the pink, I could only get it in cartridges--and I hate cartridges. What else could I do?

recede - proceed

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