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at least my mamm went well
January 23, 2017
I had a wreck. And writing this is very hard, because I can't bear thinking or talking about it. Wednesday on my way home (after a perfectly dreadful day at work), I managed to fuck up entirely and blow a red light, and ended up hitting someone. Did significant damage to both vehicles, and they were both towed. I got a ticket which will require a court appearance. No one was hurt, thank goodness, but I am a basket case. Spouse came home as soon as he could, but it is a long trip. I called W&T and they came and got me and held my hand through a bunch of it (favor returned!). Everyone involved was very nice, and I must have looked a fright, because everyone at the scene seemed quite worried about me. I was okay physically, but as I said--I was, and am still, an emotional basket case.
Thursday Spouse and I stayed called in, so we could deal with the aftermath. We met with our agent, I gave my statement to the liability rep, we arranged for the car to be to be transferred from the tow yard to the body shop, and we picked up the rental car. Taking action seemed to make me feel a little better (Spouse, too), and since I hadn't slept much the night before, I attempted to take a nap in the afternoon. I only got about 20 minutes before the body shop called to tell me the amount of the estimate: $5300. That pretty much set my guts going again, my anxiety shooting skyward, and totally wiped out any chance for sleep. I got up and made spaghetti, salad, and garlic bread for dinner, but really had to force myself to even get down a few mouthfuls.
Friday, I was scheduled off anyway because I had a mammogram scheduled and I didn't want to have to go to work with no deodorant or moisturizer. So I got up with Spouse, and took care of the dog. Once he left, B and I went back to bed, but it took me two hours to fall back to sleep, and I only got about an hour's worth out of it.
I got up and had coffee, but still couldn't face food. I lolled around until about 11:00, then started getting shaved, dressed, and ready for my appointment at 1:00. After I was ready, I sorted laundry and got that started, and left early so I'd have plenty of time to get there in a strange car. (Can I just say--there was really no good reason on earth to get rid of CAR KEYS. I absolutely HATE these pushbutton starts.)
Got there early, they checked me in downstairs, I went up to the mammo suite and they took me very quickly. I didn't even have to go through the old rigmarole of them putting the markers on all my skin tags, because they got new equipment since my last visit: 3D mammography. Pretty impressive! And since they have been getting pushback from insurance companies over billing for 3D instead of 2D, they have a policy in place that if your insurance rejects it, they only balance bill you two dollars.
Anyway; that went really fast, and I was out of there and home by 1:25. And by 4:25, I had an email saying my results were available! I wasn't worried about it, but I went to the website to check them and everything is fine. So I got that going for me, which is nice.
While I was at the hospital, I got a voice mail from the insurance company to let me know that they had the estimate and the photos from the body shop , and if I didn't hear from them later on Friday, I would on Monday. I didn't--so we had to wait for Monday.
I spent the afternoon doing most of the laundry, and I made bbq pork chops, baked potatoes & green beans for dinner (still had a hard time getting it down).
On Saturday, I got up fairly late, because I actually managed to get a few hours' sleep--once I finally zonked out. Spouse and I got cleaned up, and he knew I wasn't eating, so without discussing it he dragged me to Tommy's for breakfast. To make him happy, I had some scrambled eggs and toast. It gagged me going down, and sat in my gut like a lump of lead, but I did it. And after breakfast, just to feel we were being proactive, we looked at a used car. A local dealer has a 2008 Chevy Malibu with low miles & decent price, so we test drove it. It would be fine.
Then we ran our Saturday errands to Costco and Meijer and Menards, and came home. I picked up a new set of sheets for Spouse's bed at Costco, they had a 300-ct, 6-pc queen set for $29.00 so it was too good of a deal to pass up. He is so hard on sheets that I have to replace his twice as often as I do mine, and I try to get a deal where I can.
In order to distract ourselves and cheer up a little, we planned an experiment for Saturday's dinner: we broke out the new food processor and made our own ground beef. He used some chuck we had on hand, and threw in a small strip steak for a bit of fat and flavor. Spouse cooked them over charcoal, and I used the machine to slice up a few onions, which I spent about 45 minutes caramelizing to a glorious deep mahogany. WOW! Served on fresh onion rolls & topped with a pile of caramelized onions, they were beyond belief! I threw some fries in the oven to go with, and we had a lovely meal.
And, of course--when washing up the machinery, I managed to slice my left forefinger quite viciously on the blade. ¯_(ツ)_/¯ That's me for you. If you want a real gift that keeps on giving, there's nothing like effing up the first finger on your dominant hand.
On Saturday night, Spouse went to bed to read and I spent a pleasant hour or so puttering amongst the pens. Cleaned out everything that was dirty, refilled the Conklin, picked out a couple I’ve not used in a while and rotated them into service.
On Sunday, we got up early and Spouse & the B went "adventuring". For B, anything that gets him a car ride is an adventure. They went to the bakery for some sweet rolls, and I started the last bits of laundry going, just to keep all caught up. After breakfast, I did my kitchen cleaning shtick, and I'd vowed to clean the filter on the exhaust hood, because it was filthy and way overdue.
Apparently, it was way more way overdue than I had realized--when I took it down, I dislodged a huge shower of old roofing. Bits of shingle, chunks of tar, and even roofing nails! No wonder it hadn't been working properly--I thought it was the dirty filter, but it looks like the damned thing got jammed up and burned the motor out. I'm embarrassed to say that it's been almost a year since the new roof went on, so obviously the problem was there all along.
So that took a lot of cleaning up, and fortunately it is a fairly new unit, because all the replacement parts are available and affordable. I spent some time researching later in the day, and managed to find a new fan assembly, light cover, and filter for about $35.00. And I ordered Spouse a new mattress pad, since he needed one, and I was able to find a nice one for $23.00, and I needed to get the order over $49.00 for the free shipping, anyway.
Once the kitchen was clean, I asked Spouse if he had any plans for the day, to which I got a negative. So I kept on going and gave the bathroom a nice scrub, finished the laundry and put it away, then showered and threw on sweatpants and a polo shirt to hang out in.
Did the shopping for fan parts, as I mentioned, and we chilled out. I read a book, he fussed over his insanely complicated stew recipe, and I faced the Long Dark Teatime of the Soul, as one would expect on a long Sunday afternoon. In fact, it got so bad that after dinner was over (his stew was quite good), I plugged into some guided imagery to help me chill. It worked to a point, and I spent the rest of the evening watching British TV and prepping for my Monday.
I had a hard time falling asleep on Sunday night, and by about 2:45 am on Monday, sleep was a done deal. I waited out the alarm, and then went into the usual routine. Work was a bear, as expected, since I missed the latter part of last week and Mondays are a bitch anyway.
The insurance company called at 9:30...they totaled it. I was hoping that the time they spent on it was a good sign, but apparently it was mostly spent figuring how much to pay for it. Their offer was pretty fair, and they really did up it on the great condition of the vehicle, but Spouse wants to submit the bills for the new tires and battery to see if he can get it up a bit more. So, after a long, hard day, and the bad news it brought, I had to stop off at the body shop and get the receipts out of the glove box. So naturally I went ahead and cleaned out the car.
I asked the guy from the insurance company if I could get my stereo back, but he said the premium stereo and the aux jack on a car that normally wouldn’t have that was figured into the offer. That doesn’t bother Spouse, so I guess I’ll have to live with it. Or rather, without it.
I wasn’t crazy in love with it, but it was a gift from the hubs, so I valued it for personal reasons.
So I’m shot to hell again. And while I usually find my journal to be therapeutic…in this case, writing it out only seems to make it hurt worse.
Reading: “Instead of the Thorn” (1916), by Clara Louise Burnham. I’ve been reading her the last couple of weeks, and while I like her stories, I would have to describe her writing style as “The Christian Science Grace Livingston Hill ”, LOL
Listening: I’m not, really. And probably won’t be, since they won’t let me have my car stereo back. ):
Inked Up: I went nuts! Cleaned out everything in my pen roll. Refilled the Conklin—and you’ll never believe it, but I chose a different ink! I loaded it with R&K Solferino, since it seems to behave very much like the Pelikan brown I usually use. Plus I inked up the Marquis by Waterford Claria medium nib that Spouse gave me last Christmas (Pelikan 4001 Turquoise), and the Sheaffer Javelin medium nib I bought at the Chicago Pen Show (Monteverde Burgundy). I really like that Javelin; it has a rubberized grip that is very comfortable. The Claria, on the other hand, is only in the rotation out of respect to my sweet hubby, because the shiny chrome body and grip are slippery as hell, and the nib is scratchy.
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