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I don't really do "close & clingy" very well
June 12, 2017, 5:23 P.M.


If he doesn't give me some breathing space, I am going to scream.

This is one of the (many) things about him being unemployed that drives me quite loony: the clinginess. Here are some examples of the way he has been driving me nuts lately:

Not letting me go to the damned store without him, and once we were there, not letting me do so much as pick out some new fucking underwear without breathing down my neck.

Doing a thimbleful of (half-assed) housework, then expecting me to coo and purr and fall all over myself in gratitude, and pretty much everything short of expecting me to throw him an actual fucking parade.

Jumping up and following me every time I go into the kitchen to do something, and standing in front of whatever drawer, cupboard, or counter I need at any given time.

Following me into the backyard when I step outside to try and have a moment to myself by watering the flowers.

When I can't get back to sleep at three in the morning because--you know--I'M SO COMPLETELY FUCKING STRESSED OUT--and I try to go in the living room and read quietly until I feel drowsy...HE GETS UP TOO, AND TALKS AT ME.

Totally unnecessarily getting out of bed when I am getting ready for work, occupying the bathroom, disrupting my routine, disrupting the dog's routine, and generally getting underfoot.

As soon as I sit down to enjoy my morning coffee and 10 minutes of blessed silence before I have to dive into traffic and start the hell that is my workday--he comes into the living room, messes with the fan, turns on the damned TV, and STARTS YAPPING AT ME.

And here is the thing, about all the talking...HE DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY. It's all stupid little shit about the stupid little things he did today, or the stupid little things he's going to do today...AND HE KEEPS REPEATING IT OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

It's like living with an Alzheimer's patient.

And don't bother to tell me I need to confront him about it, because all of this? Occurred AFTER the following conversation:

Me: Can't you get up and run the television AFTER I've left for work? I'm trying to have a little quiet time before I leave. You know, I kind of need that "me time"...
Him: (doesn't move) Yeah, I know you do. I'm sorry.
Me: Seriously, you need to back off a little. It's really starting to get on my nerves.
Him: (doesn't move) Yeah, I know I do. I'm sorry I'm bothering you. I understand it bugs you.
Me: And yet...here you are.
Him: (doesn't move)
Me: (15 minutes before I actually have to go) Welp--I'm leaving, see you tonight.

He did refuse to go into Charming Charlie with me--which is the main reason I said I wanted to stop there, actually. He waited in the car, and even though it took me all of one minute to find and select the pair of pearl earrings I wanted to buy, I spent 45 minutes in there, just for the sheer pleasure of being by myself.

So, in other news...I dyed my hair on Friday after I got home from work. I wasn't going to do it till a couple of days before we leave, but we were meeting my dad for lunch on Saturday so I decided to do it before he saw me. I thought about doing my nails, but since the current polish was holding up fairly well and I've made a manicure appointment for the 14th, I decided to see if I can stretch it out till then.

On Saturday, we spent most of the day on the road, driving down to meet them in Rochelle, and then driving home. Had a nice lunch and visit, and Dad gave me my anniversary present--he made me a new version of the birdhouse planter he made me 20 years ago. This one is cedar, with a natural finish. Very nice, and it means a lot that he made it for me. It was great to see him, I don't think I've laid eyes on him in almost a year!

we stopped at Schnuck's in Rockford on the way home, and picked up some stuff for supper--just some cold fried chicken, and sandwich stuff. I got a surprisingly delicious cantaloupe, unusual to be so good this early in the season. Took me back to my childhood in melon country!

Sunday, we made a simple breakfast that allowed us to use up some of the perishables in the kitchen--bacon-scrambled eggs, home fries, and toast. I worked on some packing lists and prep for my trip, got my laundry caught up, and did some housework--because he and I have very different ideas of what it means to "clean the kitchen". I managed to get him off his ass a little and had him clean the ceiling fans, since we are having a heat wave and I didn't want to turn them on before they were dusted.

Then (as I mentioned above) I got cleaned up to run out to pick up some new underpants and some of my OTC meds for the trip, which turned into a group effort--yay.

When we got home, we spent an hour or so sorting and rolling our change--the jar was full, and we wanted to get it done. Our bank no longer has a change machine, and I refuse to pay the ridiculous percentage of total that those stupid coinstar things take. So we roll it, because the bank will accept it like that. But the down side is that you end up not cashing in the last $10 or so, because you don't have enough to make another roll. Oh, well--that goes back into the jar for next time. We ended up with $128.00 worth of rolls, so not too shabby, I guess.

After that, he went to lie down, and I decided to run all my updates on my devices. And proceeded to work myself into a righteous rage over a tablet that came with 16 gigs of space, but an operating system that takes up 6 and a half, plus another 3 used up by a ridiculous amount of crapware! (Spouse gave me his Acer; I wouldn't have bought this one, myself, but I couldn't see buying a new one wh en my old one died, if he had one he wasn't even using.)

Seriously--I don't keep a ridiculous amount of stuff on my tablet. Books, a handful of apps--that's it. I don't use it for photos, I don't keep music or video on it, mostly I just have it so I can read and browse while my phone is charging. And Spouse didn't have ANYTHING on it that wasn't factory!

And yet, I had to delete nearly all my downloaded books, just to have enough space to run the updates. Effing ridiculous. (And does Google Play no longer exclude the disabled apps from the updates list? Now I have to be doubly careful to not update any of the 30+ useless wastes of space that I have stripped back to the factory version and disabled.)

Since it was hot and we didn't feel like fussing in the kitchen, Spouse made BBQ pork steaks on the grill, and I fixed some butter noodles, green beans, and applesauce. Simple meal, not much mess. And got a couple more things ate up that needed to be be, before vacation.

Reading: Issues of old commercial jeweler trade journals from the teens and twenties. Mostly scouting for vintage fountain pen advertising, but they kind of suck me in.

Listening: I'm in that sticky spot, where I'm sick of all the music I have, but can't find anything I don't have that I want. Not enough to pay for it, anyway.

Inked Up: Still these guys: Conklin Duragraph Amber (Fine) with Pelikan 4001 Brilliant Brown, Bexley Green 10th Anniversary (custom italic) with R&K Blu Mare, Pelikan Stola III Silber (Medium) with S-K Plum Blue, and Bulow/JinHao X450 Silver Curve (Medium), also with S-K Plum Blue. I'm trying to write a couple of these dry, so I can put them away before I leave.

recede - proceed

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