slightly less fraught
April 24, 2017
Well, the good news is, I'm sleeping a little better. But I'm still feeling tired. I stopped the guided meditation, since it seemed to be making the sleeping thing worse. My anxiety is still soaring, but I am getting some long, drawn-out projects at work slooooowly wrapped up, so that is helping a little.
I talked to my dad, finally--I called and left a message on Wednesday after work, he called me back on Thursday after work. He seems to be perking up with the coming of spring. He is making himself a workshop in the garage, and planning some woodworking projects, fishing trips, and other activities to keep him busier. I told him he could make me a new birdhouse planter, since my old one is getting kind of rickety. And I reminded him that some fishing pole racks would be something he could make to sell, that guys would buy, if he decided he wanted to do craft shows. we had a fun chat about stuff.
It was a cool and breezy, but sunny weekend, and I think that helped my mood a little, but I still just feel so draggy and unmotivated, it is all I can do to make myself do the housework.
But Spouse: doing better. No longer using the cane, able to walk and stand more comfortably. I know he's feeling better because he's nterested in doing a few things he enjoys--he made a fantastic cream of chicken-rice soup for dinner on Sunday. He and I did it together, actually, and I think he liked that I was in there pitching in--doing some of the prep steps, and cleaning up the messes.
Since he is about to go down to one pill a day on his blood thinners, I didn't have to make him anything to have with his morning pills this week, so I skipped doing any baking. Left me more time and energy to spend on playing in the kitchen with him!
We both indulged our hobbies over the weekend--him with the cooking, me by throwing a bunch of stuff at tumblr. I've been trying to decide if tumblr productivity is "real" productivity...essentially, trying to determine the validity of tumblr as a hobby. Jury is still out.
We also stuck our toes into the waters of lawn work--neither of us is particularly enthusiastic about it, but again, we shared the load and did a quick mow & trim of the front and side yards late Sunday morning. After the neighbor mowed his, ours really looked ready for a cutting.
So emotionally, I seem to be a mess. But physically, I ain't doing too bad. I've been working on getting more fresh air and exercise, and while not really dieting, per se, I am at 29 pounds lost. Which, of course, I celebrated with a weekend of celebratory self-sabotage--eating & drinking whatever the hell I felt like, including way too much bargain-priced leftover Easter candy and one or two Cuba Libres. Why do I do that? I hate me sometimes.
Also, weirdly: My fingernails have started growing like crazy, and I am going to have to get a manicure pretty soon. (Or else do more yard work--that usually seems to make short work of any fingernails!)
Reading: "The Mystery of Ravensdene Court" (1922), by J.S. Fletcher (a murder mystery). Found it while leafing through old mags for ads and illustrations to post on tumblr. Pretty typical of its era, so far, but that said, it is of reasonably good quality. You read enough of these and you really come to appreciate just how much the coming of Agatha Christie set the genre on its ear. This does seem to be available as an ebook in one volume, under the shorter title of "Ravensedene Court"--but I like reading it in serial form. If my issues run out before the story does, I guess I'll have to download, though.
Listening: I started the morning with the Chili Peppers, but I wasn't in the mood for music so I gave it up.
Inked Up: The Retro 51 Tornado/Iroshizuku Kon-Peki, the Conklin Duragraph/Pelikan Brilliant Brown, Pilot metropolitan/Rohrer & Klingner Solferino, Monteverde Artista/Pelikan 4001 Pink